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Tears Are Not a Crisis: Why Crying Is a Natural Part of Healing

Have you ever found yourself fighting back tears, worried that everything might fall apart if you let them run? You're not alone.

Many of us have been conditioned to view crying as a sign of weakness or a precursor to disaster. But here's the truth: crying is not an emergency. It’s normal. Crying is just a healthy and natural part of being human.

We mistake our tears for trouble and correlate it to being a negative thing, but in reality, embracing our emotions and letting ourselves cry is what really promotes profound healing.

The Misunderstood Nature of Tears

From a young age, we're often taught to "be strong" and all we hear is "don't cry."
Every time I’m on the brink of tears and someone’s next to me, the first thing I hear is always “are you okay?” and by “don’t cry.”

But why?

They say it with good intentions because we all believe that tears are a problem to be solved rather than a normal expression of our feelings. We might worry that crying will:

  1. Make others uncomfortable
  2. Show that we're not in control
  3. Indicate that we're weak or incapable
  4. Lead to judgment or ridicule

But these fears are based on misconceptions. Crying is a biological process designed to help us process emotions and release tension. It's not a sign of weakness—it's a sign of being human.

Let’s put it this way. Every single one of us, when we were born into the world as babies, we were born crying. It doesn’t get more human than that. 

When Tears Feel Like an Emergency

There are times when crying can feel particularly overwhelming, leading us to believe it's an emergency situation:

  1. Out in public: Being seen crying can be perceived as unprofessional and unprofessional for making it something public. We weren’t able to hold it in like we think how everyone else typically does. We think people cry at home, so why is this person crying outside?
  2. During conflict: Crying during an argument might make us feel like we've "lost.” We don’t have control over the situation or our emotions, and crying has taken over the best of us.
  3. When we're already stressed: If we're dealing with multiple challenges, tears can feel like the "last straw." What else can we do? 
  4. After holding emotions in for too long: When we finally let our guard down, the rush of emotions can feel overwhelming. We put up this stone wall to everyone, pretending like we’re okay, but realistically, that can never last forever.

In these moments, remember: your tears are not a problem to be solved. They're a natural part of your emotional process.

The Truth About Crying: It's Okay

Here's what's really happening when you cry:

  1. Emotional release: Crying helps you process and release pent-up emotions, leading to a sense of relief.
  2. Stress reduction: Tears contain stress hormones, physically removing them from your body.
  3. Self-soothing: The act of crying can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you calm down.
  4. Communication: Tears can signal to others that you need support, potentially strengthening your relationships.
  5. Healing: Crying is often a crucial step in processing difficult experiences and moving forward.

There are so many resources emphasizing why it's good to cry! Check out this article from Harvard Health!

Everything Is Okay

When you feel tears welling up, take a deep breath and remind yourself: everything is okay.

You're not falling apart—you're letting go of what no longer need. You're not weak—you're human. You're not causing a scene—you're honoring your emotions.

Everything is okay.


Embracing Your Tears

Instead of fighting your tears, try this instead:

  1. Give yourself permission to cry: Find a safe, comfortable space where you can let your emotions flow freely. (Maybe here, whenever you feel like you need to! It’s the whole reason why I started this blog!)
  2. Practice self-compassion: Speak to yourself kindly, as you would to a dear friend who's crying. If your close friend came to you needing help, you would console them! Don’t be harsh on yourself, you can console yourself too!
  3. Journal: Write about your feelings before, during, or after crying to gain insight into your emotions. I find that writing out my feelings and thoughts force me to really think through what’s truly making me feel a certain way. When it’s in my head, it’s still a ball of yarn that I haven’t thought through. Things are colliding with each other, tangled, and it all doesn’t make sense, except for that fact that I’m sad. However, writing forces me to truly digest my feelings, cause you’re churning your brain to put it on paper in a way that you can understand when you re-read it.
  4. Reach out: Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Remember, vulnerability can strengthen connections. Just like you’ve been there for them, they’ll also be there for you. 
  5. Breathe: Focus on slow, deep breaths to help ground yourself as you experience your emotions. Life is simple. We need to breathe, eat, and sleep. We don’t need much else to truly stay alive, at the bare minimum. Take control of what you can right now, and do a few deep breaths.

A New Perspective on Tears

Imagine a world where we viewed crying not as an emergency, but as a natural, healing process. Where tears were met with compassion instead of alarm. Where we allowed ourselves and others the space to feel deeply without judgment.

This world is possible, and it starts with you. The next time you feel tears coming on, remember: this is not an emergency. You are safe. You are healing. You are human.

Crying is a testament to your ability to feel, to care, to connect with your innermost self. It's a sign that you're alive, that you're processing, that you're growing. And that, my dear friend, is beautifully, wonderfully okay.

So let the tears come. Let them wash over you, cleansing your spirit and renewing your strength. Because on the other side of those tears is a calmer, more centered you—ready to face whatever comes next with an open heart and a clear mind.

Remember, in the grand tapestry of life, your tears are not a flaw—they're a golden thread, weaving together your experiences and emotions into the beautiful, complex person you are. And that person deserves all the compassion, understanding, and love in the world—starting with your own.

Crying through COVID: Finding release in tears

Hey friends! Today, we're going to talk about something we all went through and are still dealing with: the emotional rollercoaster of the COVID-19 pandemic. One thing that has been a common thread for many of us during this time is crying. Whether it’s out of stress, grief, or just pure overwhelm, crying has been a way for many of us to cope with the intense emotions brought on by the pandemic. Let's dive into how crying has helped us release stress during COVID and why it's still a crucial part of our emotional health today.

The Early Days: Tears of Uncertainty and Fear

Remember those early days of the pandemic? Everything was so uncertain. We didn’t know what was going to happen, how long it would last, or how it would impact our lives. This uncertainty brought a lot of fear and anxiety. Many of us found ourselves crying more often, sometimes without even knowing why. It was like our bodies were trying to process all the stress and fear in the only way they knew how—through tears.

Crying as a Stress Reliever

Crying has always been a natural stress reliever. When the pandemic hit, it was like our stress levels went through the roof. Jobs were lost, schools closed, and we were isolated from friends and family. All these changes created a massive amount of stress. For many people, crying became a way to let out some of that built-up tension. It was a release valve, a way to cope with the constant pressure we were all under.

I remember one night during the lockdown, I just broke down. I had been trying to keep it together for weeks, but the stress finally caught up with me. I cried for what felt like hours. But after that, I felt a strange sense of relief. It was like I had let out all the fear and uncertainty that had been building up inside me.

Grieving Lost Loved Ones

One of the hardest parts of the pandemic has been losing loved ones. Whether it was directly due to COVID or other health conditions, many of us have had to say goodbye to family and friends. This grief has been profound, and crying has been a big part of how we process these losses.

It's important to remember that crying when grieving is not just normal—it's necessary. It helps us come to terms with our loss and start the healing process. Even now, as we continue to navigate life after the height of the pandemic, many of us still find ourselves crying for those we’ve lost. It’s a way to honor their memory and acknowledge our pain.

Long-Term Health Effects and Ongoing Stress

Even though the worst of the pandemic might be behind us, the effects are still very much present. Some people are dealing with long-term health conditions due to COVID. Others are facing ongoing stress from the economic and social impacts of the pandemic. Crying continues to be a way for us to handle this prolonged stress.

For instance, someone might find themselves crying out of frustration because their health hasn’t fully recovered, or because they’re still struggling to find a stable job. These tears are a way to process ongoing challenges and find some emotional release.

The Universality of Tears

One of the beautiful things about crying is that it’s universal. Everyone, regardless of age, gender, or background, cries. It’s a fundamental part of being human. During the pandemic, this shared experience of crying connected us in a way. We were all going through it together, and tears were a common language.

Crying is Still Okay

Even as we move forward, it’s important to remember that crying is still okay. The pandemic has left a lasting impact on all of us, and it’s natural to have moments where it all feels like too much. If you find yourself crying, know that it’s a healthy way to release stress and process emotions.

If you’re having a tough day, don’t hold back the tears. Find a safe space, let it out, and remember that it’s okay to cry. Whether you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, ongoing health issues, or just the lingering stress of the pandemic, crying can help you cope.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Healing Power of Tears

Crying has been a lifeline for many of us during the pandemic. It’s helped us release stress, process grief, and navigate the overwhelming emotions we’ve faced. As we continue to move forward, let’s embrace the healing power of our tears. They remind us that we’re human, that we’re connected, and that we’re capable of healing.

Thanks for reading, friends. Remember, it’s okay to cry. Your tears are a testament to your strength and resilience. Stay kind to yourself and others, and keep embracing the beautiful, cathartic power of your emotions.

Crying for no reason at all is still okay.

Hey! You might have clicked into this completely relating to crying randomly or not, but thank you for visiting.

Today, we’re diving into something that’s happened to all of us: crying without knowing why. You know those moments when you’re just going about your day, and suddenly, tears start streaming down your face? 

Yeah, we’ve all been there, and why? Either way, it’s totally okay. 

The Weird Science of Unexplained Tears

So, why do we cry out of the blue? Well, it turns out there’s some science behind it. Our emotions are super complex and influenced by all sorts of things, like our environment, hormones, and even our subconscious mind.

When we cry, our brain releases stress hormones that sometimes build up without us realizing it. These hormones need a way out, and tears are the perfect escape route. That’s why you might find yourself crying while doing the dishes or watching a random commercial.

It’s just your body’s way of saying, “Hey, I need a break!”

Emotional Overload and the Need to Let Go

Other times, we genuinely just feel the need to cry.

And that’s okay.

There’s always going to be those days where everything just feels wrong.

Work isn’t going well, your raise got denied, or it feels like there’s no one by your side.. You feel overwhelmed and there’s nothing you can really imagine doing. Even if you can pinpoint why you feel so bad, you still need an outlet.

All these little stresses pile up. That’s emotional overload. Our brains can only handle so much before they need to let off some steam. Crying is our natural pressure release valve.

Take this one memory for example. I was sitting in my studio while working on my architecture projects, and suddenly, I just started bawling. I wasn’t sad about anything specific; it was just everything at once. The stress, the fatigue, all of it just came out in tears. And you know what? I felt so much better afterward.

Hormones: The Sneaky Culprits

Hormones can be sneaky little things too, messing with our emotions without us even realizing it. That time of the month can turn us into emotional roller coasters. But it’s not just women—guys can experience hormonal changes too. Stress hormones, changes in diet, even lack of sleep can throw anyone off balance. Maybe there is such a thing as roid rage…

The Subconscious Mind at Work

Crying might even be tried from our subconscious! Our subconscious is like this deep, mysterious ocean of thoughts and memories. What is it even? Sometimes, something small can trigger a big emotional response.

It could be a smell, a song, or even a random thought that stirs up old memories or unresolved feelings.

One day, I was cleaning up around the house and started sorting through piles of age old memorabilia. Looking through my old yearbooks, I was overcome with a sense of nostalgia, but nothing really stood out to me in particular. Next thing I knew, I realized my eyes were starting to well up just a bit. It wasn’t to the point where it started flowing down my face but I knew that if I blinked, I would feel a few teardrops start to run.

I don’t know why that happened, but it did. And it was nice.

Why Crying Is Actually Good for You

Believe it or not, crying has some serious benefits. It’s like a free therapy session! Here’s why:

  1. Emotional Detox: Crying helps release pent-up emotions, keeping them from turning into bigger problems like anxiety or depression.
  2. Mood Booster: After a good cry, your body releases endorphins, which are like natural mood lifters.
  3. Better Sleep: Letting go of emotional tension through crying can lead to more restful sleep.
  4. Stronger Connections: Sharing tears with someone can deepen your bond and make you feel more connected.

How to Embrace Your Tears

So, how do you deal with those unexpected tears? Here are a few tips:

  1. Find Your Safe Space: Create a comfortable spot where you can cry freely, like your bedroom or a cozy corner of your home. It’s pretty scary to cry when we’re outside with so many wandering eyes, but if you have to, that’s okay too. Everyone around you has been there and they’ll understand. 
  2. Don’t Judge Your Emotions: It’s okay to cry, even if you don’t know why. Accept your feelings without judgment. The other option would be to wrestle it back inside, but you don’t feel better if you do that.
  3. Trigger the Tears: Sometimes, a sad song or movie can help bring on the tears if you’re feeling emotionally blocked. I used to listen to a lot of Keshi whenever I needed a break. I would take occasional breaks in school, going to the rooftop, to just lay down, stare at the sky, and force a few tears out to his music. 
  4. Talk It Out: Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Talking about what’s on your mind can help you understand why you’re crying.
  5. Write It Down: Journaling can be a great way to process your emotions and figure out what’s triggering your tears. Think about it this way. Journaling is putting pen to paper, and putting your thoughts down. You’re making what was just an idea in your head to something tangible that you can read or touch. It’s no longer just in your head anymore! You’re a bit more free from those thoughts, and you can carry on with your day. 

After the Cry: Self-Care Time

After a good cry, take some time to care for yourself. Drink some water, take deep breaths, and do something calming like reading, meditating, or taking a walk. Remember, crying is a natural way to cope with emotions, and it’s perfectly okay to let it out.

No matter what your routine turns out to be, it’s important to realize that it’s what we needed all along. 

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Mystery of Your Tears

Crying without knowing why is just part of being human. It’s our body’s way of dealing with built-up emotions, hormonal changes, and subconscious triggers. By embracing these moments with kindness and understanding, we can improve our emotional well-being and find more peace in our lives.

Thanks for reading this today, and remember, it’s totally okay to cry.

Your tears are a sign of your strength, your humanity, and your ability to heal. Stay kind to yourself and others, and keep embracing the beautiful, cathartic power of your emotions.

The Healing Power of Tears: Why Crying is the Ultimate Free Therapy

Crying is more than just shedding tears.

It’s your body’s way of processing emotions and making you feel better in the moment. In 2024, all we hear about is mental health and therapy, but to what extent does therapy always help you? I haven’t gone through therapy myself, as I’ve heard so many stories about not finding the right therapist, not getting the right advice to feel better afterward, and especially the fact that we might not always have that type of money lying around to put towards something that we’re not sure is right for us. Therapy might work, but crying will work.

Crying is something that we already do and when we start to think more about it, why wouldn’t we? It’s a free, readily available way to process emotions and find peace. Let’s think a bit about why crying is so cathartic and how it can be a healthy alternative to traditional therapy.

The Science of Crying

When we cry, our lacrimal glands produce tears, which come in three types: basal, reflex, and emotional.

Basal tears keep our eyes moist, reflex tears help protect our eyes from irritants, and emotional tears are produced when we experience strong emotions. These emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones and toxins compared to the other types, which means that crying helps release stress from our bodies. Research indicates that crying can stimulate the release of endorphins, which are natural painkillers, and oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” These chemicals help reduce both physical and emotional pain, creating a sense of relief and well-being.

Isn’t this the same effect that we wished therapy would achieve? 

Crying as a Cathartic Release

Have you noticed that you feel miles better after crying? This is because crying acts as an emotional release. Bottling up emotions can lead to increased stress and physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues. Crying allows us to express and release these emotions in a healthy manner. It serves as an emotional reset, similar to a detox for the soul, helping to clear away emotional clutter. After crying, people often report feeling lighter, calmer, and more centered. It’s a form of self-care accessible to everyone, anytime and anywhere.

Crying vs. Therapy: A Free Alternative

While therapy is a great tool for mental health, offering a structured environment to explore and understand our feelings, it can be costly and inaccessible for many. Crying, however, is free and always available. Although it’s not a replacement for therapy, it can complement professional treatment by providing a way to release pent-up emotions in the moment, making stress and anxiety easier to manage daily.

(Also, just trying talking to a friend! You might be surprised by how much others care for you.)

Cultural Perspectives on Crying

Cultural attitudes towards crying vary widely. In some cultures, it is seen as a sign of weakness, particularly for men, which can prevent people from expressing their emotions freely. Challenging these outdated notions is important. Crying is not a sign of weakness but a sign of being human. Everyone, regardless of gender, should feel free to express their emotions without shame. Embracing our tears allows us to be more authentic and connected to our true selves.

How to Embrace Your Tears

If you’ve been holding back your tears, consider these tips to embrace the healing power of crying:

  • Create a Safe Space: Find a quiet, comfortable place where you feel safe to cry.
  • Allow Yourself to Feel: Don’t judge your emotions. All feelings are valid, whether triggered by a sad movie, a stressful day, or deeper issues.
  • Use Music or Movies: A sad song or touching movie can help trigger tears, especially if you’re feeling emotionally blocked.
  • Talk to Someone: Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member for support.
  • Journal Your Emotions: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them and may lead to a good cry.

The Happy Aftermath

After crying, take a moment to care for yourself. Drink some water, take deep breaths, and engage in a calming activity like reading, meditating, or walking. Crying is a natural and healthy way to cope with emotions, reminding us of our humanity and the depth of our feelings.

Final Thoughts: The Cathartic Power of Crying

Crying is a natural gift that helps release pent-up emotions and find peace. It’s accessible to everyone and doesn’t require any special tools or appointments. While therapy is incredibly valuable, crying can be a powerful supplement to professional help or a standalone method for emotional relief. So, the next time you feel the tears welling up, don’t hold back. Embrace them and let them do their healing work.

Stay kind to yourself and others, and keep embracing the cathartic power of your emotions.


With warmest wishes from someone who cares,
Jack

Emoequilibrium: Helping manage your emotions

You're probably asking what emoequilibrium is.

During my final year of architecture school, I took a photography class. I finally met other students with different perspectives coming from different majors. We see students from other majors infrequently as we're just holed up in our building after finishing any gen eds that we have. Meeting new friends here was exactly when I came to coin the term emoequlibrium. 

As I was designing a space to cry for my thesis, one of my friends in chemistry compared it to equilibrium. Equilibrium refers to getting as close as possible to a stable state but never being able to reach it or stay there. It's the constant push and pull from all the different forces that keeps it from staying at 0. This immediately struck me as the same way that we process emotions. If we think about anger and sadness as the two ends of the spectrum, we can take this concept and apply it to our own emotions. Taking time out of the equation, our mental state constantly fluctuates between the two. We'll never be in a neutral state where we don't feel anything. Even if we're not all the way at one end or the other, there's no point in saying we're completely fine.

After a while, we always end up moving away from that state of zero. It might be that your friend ticked you off, your family started asking you to do a few tasks, or even something as small as the temperature in the room that annoyed you. Anything at all can and will push you off of that neutral state.

Now that we've established that our emotions are always in flux, what can we do to help us reach the center again? Just like chemistry, there has to be another force that brings us back to being more neutral.

Let’s say anger is at 1, neutral at 0, and sadness at -1. If we started at 1, say, maybe because of the train being stuck on our commute to work in the morning, we usually have to calm down to at least negotiate ourselves back towards 0 before working or chatting with coworkers. Everyone has a different coping technique to negotiate with their own internal feelings. That might be making your morning coffee, texting a friend about it, or just letting time ease those feelings into the ground. These are the mechanisms that we realized that work for ourselves, but I've realized that when everything goes down the drain, the technique that we've all shared since birth to remediate Our emotions is; crying. 

No matter where you are on the spectrum from -1 to 1, you need a cathartic release. Our emotions vary way too much. You dump the load off your shoulders but eventually, the load will come back. You get sad, you get angry, and sometimes, talking to a friend or working out just isn't enough. 

At those points, we can't help but just cry. 

Crying is almost like an emotional trash can. You can cry when you get sad. You can cry when you get angry. Even when you don't know what you're feeling and you're just confused about your feelings, you can cry. The best thing is, in all of those situations, crying helps you get back to that neutral state of zero.

Crying is that universal language that we all understand. It's the one method that we all share to cope with and understand our emotions, the most fickle thing about us that makes us human. 

With emoequilibrium, it puts our existence into perspective. Our emotions are what make us human and we need a dependable way to regulate them.

Helping others understand that crying is healthy and that it's okay to cry is something that I'm extremely passionate about. Emoequilibrium is one of the terms that I'd love for us here to all become familiar with to understand that no matter what life throws at us, everything will eventually be okay.

Surviving the Distorted Reality, It's Seriously Not that Bad.

Why Things Are Never as Bad as You Think They Are

Remember the last time that you thought that everything was falling apart? Your mind starts racing, your heart starts pounding, and you can't help but feel overwhelmed. You can't think straight and that’s completely normal. It'd be insane if we could think straight and keep a sane mind when we feel like the entire world is against us. Eventually, as time passes, you remember those moments and realize that it wasn't as bad as you made it out to be. 

There's a saying that I always remind myself and tell the people around me when I seem stressed out. “Life is actually really simple. You eat, sleep, and carry on with your day. What else do you need to live?”

Most of the stress that we carry comes from expectations or preconceptions that we've built upon ourselves.

“I'm going to study super hard for this test and get 100%.”

“This deadline is coming up, how am I going to make it in time?”

“I've been single for so long, I'll never get a girlfriend…”

Those ideas ingrain themselves within us but realistically, things are almost always not as bad as we think they are. Your brain always magnifies these problems to extreme amounts the more that you think about it. In hindsight, we realize we were probably overreacting over nothing.

The Brain's Filter: A Distorted Reality

Our brains are incredible organs. Think about how many parts make up our brain! Everyone talks about how you might be right brained or left brained, or even the fact that our brain uses the majority of the energy and calories that we consume everyday.

Our brain is what makes us capable of processing vast amounts of information and helping us navigate the complexities of life. However, they are not always the most reliable, especially when we think about those times when we can't think straight. It's just as simple as that. 

During those times, why is it that we can't think straight? Something insane probably happened, leaving us mentally stunned and distraught. Doesn't it just make perfect sense that we can't think straight when we’re feeling overwhelmed? In fact, our brains have a tendency to distort reality, often making things appear worse than they actually are.

One reason for this distortion is our brain's natural negativity bias. Evolution has wired our brains to pay more attention to negative experiences and emotions as a survival mechanism. This means that when something bad happens, our brains automatically amplify the negative aspects, making them seem more significant than they actually are.

“I've been single for so long, I'll never get a girlfriend…”

Let's take this one example to think about for a little bit. Genuinely, what is wrong with being single? Is getting a girlfriend going to solve all your problems? What would be the problem that you're even solving from getting a girlfriend?

Maybe you're seeing your friends in happy relationships and you wish that you were dating too. However, there's no guarantee that it'll be a happy relationship. When you think about it like that, are you trying to get a girlfriend just for the sake of not being alone? It's miles better to wait and carry on with your own life while searching for happiness yourself! Eventually, as cliche as it sounds, life always has a plan for you and if it's truly what you desire, it'll come when you're least expecting it. When you're not searching for that certain thing, time starts to run faster as you're not counting down the days in desperation. 

When you take a step back and really break down the things that are making you sad or stressing you out, you'll be able to separate the negative biases that your brain has subconsciously attached along to those thoughts. Things aren't as bad as you once thought they were!

Catastrophic Thinking

This twisted reality is also influenced by our brain's propensity for "catastrophic thinking," as psychologists refer to it. Our natural reaction to a problem or challenging circumstance is to imagine the worst-case scenario. We make the issue appear far worse than it is by dwelling on all the worst-case scenarios we can think of.

How frequently does the worst-case scenario really come to pass? Maybe this kind of reasoning is merely the brain's attempt to make the situation less painful. Every negative event looks insignificant when we're used to envisioning the worst-case scenario, wearing us down less than if we were just to wait for the results to come.

It's critical to step back and recognize how emotions affect how we perceive the world when things get too much to handle. Our emotions frequently skew our judgment and impair our ability to perceive things properly.

Though strong, emotions don't always accurately represent the world around us. These are personal experiences that are subject to the effect of many things, such as our ideas, convictions, and prior experiences. When faced with a challenging circumstance, we may become too emotional and fail to see the wider picture. 

By recognizing the role of emotions in our perception of reality, we can begin to regain control over our thoughts and actions. It's important to remember that feelings are not facts. Just because we feel overwhelmed or upset, it doesn't mean that the situation is truly as dire as it seems.

Take those examples from earlier. 

“I'm going to study super hard for this test and get 100%.”

“This deadline is coming up, how am I going to make it in time?”

Let’s now say that a week has passed. How much do those same thoughts affect you now? It's not so bad right? You either got a great grade or a bad grade on the test but has anything around you visibly changed?

Let’s take time to process things

So how can we train our brains to see things in a more balanced and realistic way? It all starts with not acting on things immediately. Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of a situation, take a step back from the situation and do something else. Do a quick workout. Read a book. When some time has passed (let’s say 30 minutes at least), only then, maybe we can start to think about the situation again. That small period of time might help to shift your focus towards the positive. 

Gratitude practice is one effective strategy. Take a moment to list all the things in your life for which you are thankful, especially in the face of difficulty. You may change your viewpoint and be reminded that there is always something to be grateful for by doing this easy exercise.

Rephrasing the scenario is another useful tactic. See the bright side of things rather than the catastrophe. Consider how this event may help you grow personally and what lessons you might take away from it. Reframing the scenario allows you to transform a bad experience into a learning opportunity.

Finally, it's important to remember that you are not alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a trusted confidant for support. Sometimes, simply talking about your problems can help you gain a fresh perspective and find solutions that you may not have considered before.

Remember, it’s just our brains

When your brain starts telling you that things are worse than they actually are, remember that it's just playing tricks on you. Our brains have a way of magnifying our problems and making them seem insurmountable. But by understanding the power of your brain, recognizing the role of emotions, and changing your perspective, you can regain control over your thoughts and find the strength to overcome any challenge. So the next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath, wipe away those tears, and remind yourself that things are never as bad as you think.

The Power of Crying: 4 Reasons Why You Should Cry

There's at least 4 reasons why you should cry! Crying is this thing that we’ve always been so scared to do, but in reality, crying is the thing that keeps us all going. It keeps us mentally sane, regulates our emotions, and releases all the pent-up frustration we’ve been keeping inside.

There’s no reason why we shouldn’t cry. Can you think of any? Each reason that I’ve ever come across to not cry is just a preconception that’s been drilled into our head, but it keeps us farther and farther away from feeling better. There are actually at least five great reasons why I think we should all cry, not to cry on demand, but just to allow the rivers to flow when we need to.


1. Crying is our main emotional regulator.

Our urge to cry is a natural response that our body is urging us to do. We’ve gone through something stressful and want to cry, so there’s no reason why we should hold it back. Crying helps us release endorphins, oxytocin, and especially stress hormones.

With endorphins, these are our body’s natural painkillers and mood lifters, helping us reduce physical and emotional pain, and inducing a sense of well-being and relaxation. This is the reason why we feel so much lighter after we cry! 

Oxytocin is the hormone that’s often referred to as the “love” or “bonding” hormone, promoting feelings of trust, empathy, and connection with others. The few people that we’re willing to cry in front of are usually the people that we’re the closest to and are comfortable being vulnerable in front of. Crying only makes this bond stronger. 

Best of all, crying reduces our stress. Our overall stress level goes down after we cry, as it’s the most cathartic feeling that you can experience whenever you’re stressed. Whenever you feel pent up and frustrated from life, think of crying as an emotional bathroom. It’s there for you to get rid of all the toxins within your body, just one cry at a time. 

2. Crying improves our relationships.

Engaging in regular crying can enhance our emotional intelligence. Each time we cry, we’re allowing ourselves to experience and express our emotions fully. We become more aware and understand ourselves better, which in turn, helps us understand other people better. We know how they feel when we see them cry, because we’ve gone through the same thing ourselves. It improves our communication, empathy, and even problem-solving skills. You can share your own experiences, encourage others to embrace those emotions and understand that it’s okay to cry. 

It’s not embarrassing to cry in front of someone! Okay, it might be a little embarrassing at first. But after a while, you realize that you’ve created a really close bond to someone who you’re okay with being vulnerable in front of! You have someone to validate your struggles, and you’re creating a supportive community that understands the value of crying and regulating your emotions. Break down those societal barriers and misconceptions about crying. It’s what makes us feel better. 

3. Crying keeps us healthy!

Other than just the emotions surrounding crying, it actually gives us great physical benefits too! Our tear ducts are producing tears that help cleanse and lubricate our eyes. There’s fake tear drops for a reason!

Not that we want you to cry all the time, but having some tears come out can get rid of dust and allergens, especially during this pollen season. The relief that we feel from crying gets rid of some of the pain that comes from the headaches that build up when we’re stressed as well! The endorphins released from crying are our body’s natural painkillers, getting rid of the pain that we feel from headaches and migraines. 

4. Crying is self-care.

It really is. Contrary to popular belief, crying does not make us weak. In fact, it makes us stronger and more resilient. We’re acknowledging our emotions and processing them in a healthy way, engaging in self-care and self-reflection. It helps us bounce back from difficult situations and face challenges right after with a clear mind. Embracing our emotions is the first step while crying helps us let them go and carry on. 

Personally, I’ve noticed that crying is especially looked down upon among men. We’re often unable to express our emotions openly. That creates a barrier between us and our loved ones for clear and effective communication. With romantic relationships, the avoidance of our emotions can often lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and a lack of emotional connection.

If you’re a man, know that it’s okay to cry! If not, tell your boyfriend and all your other male friends that it’s okay to cry! We’re missing out on crucial opportunities for self-reflection and personal development. Understanding our emotions instead of neglecting them is a fundamental part of being human. When we don’t express our emotions, how can our partners ever understand what we need, desire, and are concerned with?

It’s crucial that we challenge society’s expectations of suppressing our emotions just because we’re men. It’s especially because we’re men that we need to understand ourselves and use crying as a healthy way to not just cope with, but process our emotions.

Let your tears flow.

So, the next time you want to cry, let it flow. Crying is a release valve for all those pent-up emotions and tension that you’ve kept inside. You can see those intangible emotions become something that you touch and feel. It validates your experience and most importantly, makes you feel better. 

You don't have to cry alone.

Misery loves company, so don't cry alone. Remember that time when you accidentally cried in front of someone? You weren’t able to hold it in and ended up bursting into tears. How did they respond? 9 times out of 10, you weren’t shamed for crying, but you were comforted. They understood the pain that you felt because they too, were once in that same position. Where you feel like everything around you is falling apart, asking yourself why you were the one who pulled the short end of the stick, and just, why, why is the world treating me like this?


Others have felt the same way.


You feel that way but truly, you’re not alone in this horrible world. Other people know this pain just as well as you do. They’ve gone through the motions of sobbing, going to the next day, sobbing again, and repeating this painful cycle over and over again until they’ve reached the state they are now. Due to the fact that they’ve gone through this already, they know that this pain will pass and they reassure you that things will be okay, as they always are. 

It’s okay to open up to others and share the feelings that you’ve kept pent up inside. In fact, we often never feel better if we don’t let these thoughts out. We keep them in for no good reason at all and keep cooking with the same burnt pot, refusing to wash it all clean before making our next meal. How much better is life when you’re starting a new day without all the baggage that was weighing you down yesterday? Take a minute to cry, and wash away the heaviness on your shoulders.


Time really does heal.


It’s a pretty cliche thing to say, but I truly do believe that time heals all. Time heals all because the emotional pain that we feel comes in waves. It’s just like low tide and high tide. Stronger once but weaker the next, our feelings about things work the same way too. These waves of emotion crash against you and sting so badly when it happens. But think about a similar situation that you went through maybe a month ago. That situation isn’t affecting the present day you as much as it affected you a month ago.

Now, think about one of those negative situations an entire year ago! That’s what I consider low tide.

You feel the pain when remembering that, but it’s now bearable. The grief hits you at just your feet, barely getting your toes wet. Comparing that to how you felt back then or how the current situation is treating you now, don’t you agree that time has worked its magic?

The impact of that situation on you is getting weaker and weaker as time passes. So just as temporary as it is, it gives you time to deal with the problem, hopefully in a weaker state.

The pain will pass. (Emo-equilibrium)

The essence of what I find to be within our emotions is something which I’ve coined the term; emo-equilibrium.

So, you don't need to cry alone.

Crying has always been beautiful.

How beautiful would it be to be crying with a view like this?

What makes you cry?

Most of the time, there's always a reason why we start crying. And more likely than not, it's something negative that's happened in our lives. Someone's passed away, you got rejected from a job after hundreds of job applications, or you're looking at all your friends in these happy relationships and wondering why you can't have the same.

We get sad after thinking about it all and start to cry. These things are happening. And we can cry. We cry and cry some more, thinking about the same sad occurrence over and over again. People tell you to stop crying, thinking it's a sign of weakness or maybe they're just sick of seeing us cry. Crying has always had this negative connotation, but it isn't the case at all.

Accepting Crying

Actually, I've started to look at crying as a sort of acceptance. Crying helps you remediate all the confusing feelings that are going through your head (and heart). I say heart because your brain can't make sense of everything. What you perceive might make you sad might be illogical, but there's still a reason why you're sad and want to cry. It's not that it's wrong to cry just because it's illogical, but gives you even more reason to cry because your brain can't make sense of it, but your heart can. 

Your heart is processing that pent-up emotion because your brain can't. It's turning those depressing and sad thoughts into something you can physically see. The pain you're feeling inside is so intangible that your body wants to make something to help your brain make sense of the crazy situation. Think of crying as this emotional trash can, helping your body discard these sad emotions. It might be the pile of scrunched-up tissues that you're now throwing away, or the wetness on your arm from using your arm to wipe away all the tears. Or maybe you're just in shock, with tears slowly rolling down your face. 

The thing is, that act of crying is beautiful. The same thing that was twisting yourself up is no longer inside you. And yes, you might argue that it's a temporary solution until you get sad about it again. But honestly, we can't deny that it makes us feel better at that one moment right?

We're free from those negative emotions for a beautiful five minutes and can think clearly and carry on with our lives. So why is crying so shunned? Why does everyone tell us “Don't cry, don't cry?”

I'm here to tell you that it’s okay to cry. It's not even just okay to cry, it's absolutely beautiful to be able to cry. Especially if you're someone who doesn't cry often, you probably have a lot of pent-up emotion that's been bottling up. Crying has always had this negative connotation but the more that you think about it, why is that? 

Don't you always sleep the best after a good cry? Don't you always feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders? We're shunned from crying in public and whenever we see someone doing that, we feel bad for them. We know that they're going through something difficult and taxing. We're watching them process their emotions in a way that the world has taught us to. 

So cry! Don't hold it in the next time you feel those tears start to well up; instead, let it flow. I want you to remember that it's completely normal. I promise that you’ll always feel better afterward.

I want to leave you with one last note! Just like the way that I'm telling you that it's okay to cry, remember to put a smile on! Even if you're sad, putting on that smile for yourself will convince you that things are going well. The more that you do it, the more that you'll believe it, and you'll soon be five minutes happier.

let's quickly make 5 minutes of your day happier.

Where I've been & how I got here

Imagine you've just graduated college, started a corporate job, and trying to figure out if this is really what you want to do with your life.

Well, that's actually me. My name's Jack, and thank you for taking the time to read this. 

Despite being on a straight and narrow path throughout my life, I always wondered what my future would be like. Middle school, high school, and college passed, but nothing really spoke to me until COVID hit, and I finally had time to sit down and think about it.

What did I want to do with my life?

The peak of COVID made me think about mental health, specifically about crying. Being stuck at home can often be suffocating for a lot of people, spending time with only family and no one else. (Not that I don't love my family, but you know what I mean.)

It's hard to get rid of that suffocating feeling, that stuffiness that seems to be perpetually stuck in your chest. It made me wonder - is it downright impossible? It then struck me, the one moment that you’re able to get rid of it. That one true moment of catharsis, in those 5 minutes right after you cry. You're lying limp in your bed, your pillows wet, a pile of tissues next to you, and the room is quiet. You've cried so much that your eyes are swollen, but somehow, it made you feel better. This is the feeling that I'm chasing, and the feeling that I believe everyone finds euphoric. 

“What if I could make a space where everyone can feel this? A space to cry, a space to scream, a space that can give you that utterly cathartic feeling?”

It's going to be a long journey, not just for me, but for all of us. I want everyone to be a little happier, even if it’s just for five minutes out of the day. If I'm able to do that for you, I've served my purpose. 

Life is a vicious cycle, and we all need a place where we can feel safe for a little while. I hope that I can make that safe space for you here, a space where you can cry.

a few calming pictures