Blog

Crying over Money

The Weight of Financial Worries

Recently, I’ve been reading a lot about financial literacy and it always comes down to this one thing; how much money do you need to be happy? 

Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, your mind's racing about bills, debt, and making ends meet. On the other hand, you might be one of the lucky few who make a decent living, but it’s still just an endless rat race to keep increasing your income. Is it possible for us to escape from these thoughts?

Money can be an intense source of stress that pushes us to our breaking point. The kind of stress that eventually squeezes tears out of us, whether we like it or not. You could be a tough blue-collar worker coming back from a tiring day or a nurse who’s been running around all day, but the stress of money is the thing that we all share.

When we start to think about money, it feels like we’re the only ones suffering. We scroll through social media and see all these influencers with sponsorships, free products, and a million luxury items. It’s easy to get lost in those feelings.

Take a minute to breathe.
(I truly want you to close your eyes for just 5 seconds, and take a deep breath. Forget about everything else, just exist for a bit, then come back.)

In reality, we’re all carrying the same burden. Those influencers who live a lifestyle you dream about are going through the same things as you. They worry about money too. You’re only seeing what they want you to see to get you to watch their videos. Who actually knows if they’re truly living the lives that they’re portraying?

Putting Money into Perspective. 

Now, let's zoom out for a second.

I ran across an interesting statistic when doom-scrolling the other day.

“ If you earn $60,000 a year after tax and you don’t have kids, you’re in the richest 1 percent of the world’s population.”

That was insane to me. If you do the math, we have roughly 8 billion people in the world. If you take 1% of that, there are 80 million people who are in that top 1% with you. On the other hand, that means there are 7.92 billion people in the world who are living with less than $60,000 a year. Now, with that statistic in mind, hear me out.

We live life and push through day by day just to survive. We try to make all this money and chase after a higher salary, a better job, and we keep going until we’re 65 when we can retire. (Unless you’re trying to retire early with the whole FIRE movement, good for you!) What are you going to do when you get that all that money? We say that money makes us happy, but how much money makes you happy?

Let’s say that you’re in that top 1%. If you make $60,000 a year, are you happy? You’re doing better off than 99% of the people in the world. Isn’t that reason enough to feel grateful for where you are at the moment?

If you’re not happy at $60,000 a year, think about switching places with someone who isn’t in that top 1%. What drives their happiness? Would their newfound wealth make them happy? Were they already happy before? This number that we chase, this goal of wealth, is so subjective that we often get caught up trying to live someone else’s life.

Sure, money solves a lot of our problems. That’s for granted. Instead, think about how much you truly need. There’s no way that the rest of the world is unhappy just because they’re not in the top 1%.

Did you know that about 9% of the world's population – that's like 700 million people – are living in extreme poverty? That's less than $2.15 a day. It's heartbreaking, and it really puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Tears of Relief: When Financial Stress Lifts

Those statistics and thoughts help us feel more grateful for what we have. Despite all that, it’s still true that our finances will still cause us stress. We still have to think about all our expenditures and budget for the month. When those thoughts come through, think about the times where you became a tiny bit more financially stable.

Maybe you were unemployed and searching for a job, and after months of searching, you finally got a job offer. Maybe you had mountains of student or credit card debt to pay off and you finally did. Those are some of the best feelings in the world, aren’t they? You might have cried a few tears of relief, knowing that you finally had a source of income again. It’s golden. Those tears are an acknowledgment of the struggles that you went through. Better yet, those tears provide that beautiful feeling of release and peace that you wanted for so long.

Celebrate it! Enjoy your wins, big or small, because those moments of happiness are what we truly live for in life.

Finding Peace in the Struggle

Here's what I want you to remember. Whether you're shedding tears of frustration over bills or crying with relief because you finally have some breathing room, it's all valid. Your feelings about money are real and important. Crying isn't weakness – it's a release, a way to process these intense emotions.

And if you're struggling right now, please know you're not alone. There's no shame in reaching out for help, whether that's to a friend, a financial advisor, or a mental health professional. Sometimes, just talking about it can lift some of that weight off your shoulders.

Remember, your worth isn't defined by your bank account. You're much more than a number. And while money stress is real and valid, don't let it overshadow the beautiful, complex, amazing person you are.

So next time you feel those money-stress tears coming on, let them flow. Have a good cry if you need to. Then take a deep breath, remind yourself of your strength, and keep moving forward.

Soul Healing: Crying Is Your Body's Fail-proof Reset Button

Your body and soul need a reset. Maybe you need to cry. I know, it sounds odd, but hear me out.

Crying is actually really good for us - not just for our emotions, but for our whole being. It's like a reset button for our soul.


Stress Piles Up

Let's start with the mental side of things. Sometimes, life just feels way too overwhelming. Everything’s piling up and you get these small annoyances in your life that make you feel like, wow, I just can’t catch a break.

Recently, a small thing bothered me. Maybe it’s not small to others, or maybe it’s actually not even small to me at all. I came home after a long day at work and got a random message from my sister that she was using my credit card. I had left it on my Amazon account and wasn’t expecting her to use it, but the fact that she was just using it instead of asking me if she could was just the last straw. It was like she had absolutely no respect for me.

That's when a good cry can work wonders. It's like your body saying, "Hey, I need to let this out." And when you do, it's a weight lifted off your shoulders.

But here's the thing that really blew my mind recently - crying isn't just good for your mental health, it's actually great for your physical health too. I stumbled upon this YouTube channel called "Goobie and Doobie", and it's run by this doctor who used to perform surgeries for people with degenerative spine problems. He recently had a video go viral about why he was quitting being a doctor. Goobie compared his surgeries to patching a leaky roof, he was temporarily fixing it, but he wasn’t truly fixing the root of the problem. He was just putting a band-aid on it.


Beyond Band-Aids: Addressing the Root Cause

How often do we put band-aids on our own problems?

We’re temporarily fixing things and delaying our stresses off for later, until we can’t handle it anymore. Just like that leaky roof, the moment comes when we need to cry and let all the water run out. It's not just about feeling sad or letting out emotions, instead, crying is acknowledging our true internal problems and letting our bodies process it.

When we cry, our bodies release stress hormones and other toxins. It's like we're literally flushing out the bad stuff. Imagine you were patching up the hole in the roof without draining all the water first. Don’t you need to drain the water, diagnose the problem, and only then, should you patch up that hole?

So cry! Let yourself go through that emotional and physical cleanse. After you feel slightly better, start to process and digest what you just went through. Now, you can make a conscious and non-clouded decision about how to carry on. Your body will thank you for it.



5 Science-Backed Strategies to heal your soul

So, I've been doing some research on ways we can take better care of ourselves, both emotionally and physically. Here are a few things I've learned:

  • Crying regularly can lower blood pressure and reduce stress hormones. A study in Frontiers in Psychology found that emotional tears contain stress hormones and other toxins, which are removed from the body through crying. (Source: Frontiers in Psychology)
  • Getting enough sleep is crucial for emotional regulation. The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7-9 hours for adults. Lack of sleep can increase stress and emotional reactivity. (Source: National Sleep Foundation)
  • Regular exercise, especially hitting 10,000 steps a day, can significantly improve mood and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. A study in The Lancet Psychiatry found that physical activity is associated with lower mental health burden. (Source: The Lancet Psychiatry) It roughly translates into 100 minutes of walking, so I’ve been incorporating a 30-minute walk after each meal!
  • Reducing sodium intake can help with blood pressure and overall heart health. The American Heart Association recommends no more than 2,300 milligrams a day. (Source: American Heart Association)
  • Mindfulness practices like meditation can help manage stress and improve emotional well-being. A study in JAMA Internal Medicine found that mindfulness meditation programs can help reduce anxiety, depression, and pain. (Source: JAMA Internal Medicine

Even with all these tips, sometimes the best thing you can do is just let yourself have a good cry. It's giving yourself permission to feel and to be human.

Holistic Health: The Mind-Body Connection in Wellness

I remember times when I've been so stressed or upset that I felt physically ill. My stomach would be in knots, my head would ache, and I'd feel like I couldn't breathe properly. But then, when I finally let myself break down and cry, it was like a dam bursting. And afterwards?

I felt exhausted, but also... lighter. Clearer. I could think maybe 5% better. That 5% was everything to me.

That's the magic of crying. It's not just about the tears - it's about acknowledging our feelings, processing them, and letting them go. It's a form of self-care that we often overlook because we're taught to "be strong" or "keep it together." But real strength is in allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to feel deeply, and to let it out.

Remember, taking care of your emotional health isn't just good for your soul - it's good for your whole body. So eat well, sleep enough, get moving, and yes, cry when you need to. Your body and your soul will thank you for it.

And hey, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to, I'm here. Because sometimes, the best medicine is knowing you're not alone in this crazy, beautiful, emotional journey we call life.

COVID Killed Our Third Spaces


Ever since Covid, I've been thinking a lot about something, maybe it's been on your mind too. Remember how life used to be before the pandemic hit? We would be at home, at work, and then... we had that other special place. That "third space" where we could just be ourselves, unwind, and connect with others. For all of us, that place was different. It might have been the bar for some and at the pool hall for others. Ray Oldenburg called it the "third place," and wow, you really don’t realize what you had until it’s gone.

Goodbye to your coffee shops

It’s like those cozy coffee shops where you could walk in, smile, and ask for your usual. They would know your order by heart, and that was a nice gesture that always made you a little happier. What about that pub where you would walk in and see everyone waiting for you at the bar? It could have been the gym, the park, or even the library where you like to do your work. We would chat about nothing and everything. These were our third spaces - not home, not work, but somewhere in between where we could just... breathe.

It wasn’t until COVID hit until we realized how much these places meant to us. These spaces vanished from our lives. We were left with just home and work, and now home even became work. It was like someone took a giant eraser and wiped out a huge part of our daily routines.

Life became Two-Dimensional

This sudden shift hit us hard. Life became this monotonous cycle of wake up, work, sleep, repeat. The worst was that all this took place in the same space. I would be at the same table for hours on end, without even a choice to go outside and take a walk because of the fear that was instilled into us. The lines that were defining our personal and professional lives blurred until they were indistinguishable. That third space was now gone, the buffer zone where we would shake off all our stress. 

Without our third spaces, where could we go to vent about a tough day at work without bringing that negativity home? Where could we celebrate small victories with friends who'd cheer us on? Where could we simply exist without the pressures of productivity or domestic responsibilities?

The weight of this loss was insurmountable. Stress levels skyrocketed and many of us felt a deep, unnamed longing. We were missing something vital, something that made life colorful and vibrant. The worst thing was, we had no way to overcome it.

Just like plants, we need water too

Here's the thing. We're social creatures to the core. It's not just a nice-to-have; it's a need-to-have. We're wired for connection. We crave physical touch, the sound of laughter, and the warmth of a smile. 

Even in ancient times, our ancestors survived by banding together and working together as hunter-gatherers. Fast forward to today, and our brains still crave that feeling of being part of a community, rather than spending all of our time alone. Our third spaces gave us exactly that - a sense of community.

Without these spaces, we’re like plants trying to grow without sunlight. We might survive, but we couldn't thrive. Even with watering our plants, we need to water them occasionally! It fits the metaphor even more when you take into account that each plant needs a different amount of water! Some of us can last without that water for a pretty long time and others feel empty without talking to people for even a day.

The isolation took its toll on our mental health, our creativity, our very sense of self. We felt it. It was a void we weren’t familiar with. Even online, the endless scroll of social media was trying to fill a void it never could.

The Desperate Search for Connection

As the pandemic wore on, didn't you feel it? That ache for normal human interaction? We tried to recreate our third spaces virtually - Zoom happy hours, spending all day on discord, people even developed virtual offices where you could walk around as avatars. All these efforts were to try to fill that void. And while these were better than nothing, they couldn't fully replicate the magic of real-life, spontaneous interactions.

This desperation stressed us out in ways that we couldn’t even comprehend. We were stressed at home, stressed at work, and had nowhere to go to release that stress.

A Glimmer of Hope

But here's the beautiful thing, my friend. We’re out of COVID now.

The pandemic has become a shadow behind us. We now have a chance to go back to those third spaces, with this newfound appreciation of how important these times really are. We can comprehend how crucial these spaces are for our mental health. Let’s start going back to them now.

Maybe your third space is that quirky little bookstore that somehow survived the pandemic. You might want to take more walks outside now, perhaps you’ll start to recognize the same few faces that you start to pass by. Or maybe, it could be a new space altogether. Until you find that space and that understanding, feel free to stay here as long as you’d like. 

It’s not physical and it doesn’t have the magic of what chatting at the bar can feel like, but we share that understanding that we need that feeling. It’s a feeling of catharsis, a feeling that sometimes you get when you scream, or cry, or feel satisfied from anything at all.

Whatever form it takes, let's cherish this space. Nurture them, support them, and recognize them for what they are - not just places, but lifelines to our social and emotional selves, our stressed-out selves, our fully human selves.

Let's seek our these third spaces with intention and gratitude. Let's create them where they don't exist. And most importantly, let's never again take for granted the simple joy of being together, in a space that's neither home nor work, but somewhere wonderfully in between.

Crying to Sleep: Release Stress on Tearful Nights

It’s quite nice to end the day crying.

Surely, this is an experience that we’ve all shared.

It’s quite comforting when then the peace settles in after a good cry. The world goes quiet and we’re left alone with nothing but our thoughts. It’s a unique feeling. I grew up in the big city and there’s never a moment where you can hear your own heartbeat like you can now. For many of us, these are the moments when crying hurts the most. We let the tears run, silently behind closed doors, soaking our pillows as we hope for tomorrow to come.

You just spent 10 minutes sobbing your heart out from something we just couldn’t handle anymore. 

Crying ourselves to sleep is a deeply personal experience, one that often feels isolating.
You’re not alone. There’s someone else doing the same as you are at this moment. 

The Science Behind Our Nocturnal Tears

Our bodies have a fascinating way of processing emotions, especially at night.  As the day fades, our minds start to look inward, bringing thoughts that we’ve been suppressing back to the surface. We’re a bit further away from the stresses of work and finally have a few hours to ourselves. 

Scientifically speaking, crying before sleep can actually serve a purpose. Tears release stress hormones and toxins from our bodies. They contain leucine enkephalin, a natural painkiller that can help soothe emotional pain. 

According to Issaquah Eyeworks, psychogenic tears, or tears that are sparked by emotion, contain higher levels of this natural painkiller as well as stress hormones. 

Putting it in different words, tears are nature’s antidepressants. 

It’s helping us fall asleep a little better.

The Sleepy Aftermath

As someone who has spent countless nights with tears streaming down my face, I understand how overwhelming this can feel. It feels hopeless at times, and that moment, there’s no way that we can think clearly and see the end. You’ve muffled the sounds of your pain under the blanket, scared that maybe your family will hear you from outside. At times, these crying sessions get so intense that you start to feel nauseous and overtaken with the feeling of needing to vomit. I’ve been scared to go outside myself, eyes red and to endure the walk of shame to the bathroom with the evidence that you’ve been crying all over your face. 

However, crying has always been comforting at those moments. Have you ever noticed how, after a good cry, it feels like you can sleep a little better? Your eyelids are a little heavier and I often find myself already under the blanket in these situations. You’ve already curled up into the comfort of your bed. 

Your body is exhausted. Naturally, we’ve drained ourselves both emotionally and physically, whether it was by choice or not. This is called the “rest and digest” system. According to PsychologyToday, this blessing was given to us by the parasympathetic nervous system. 



“A 2019 study sums it up: “It seems that crying onset is associated with an increase in sympathetic activity, and the resolution of crying may also be associated with increases in parasympathetic activity,” which possibly suggest a “recovery process”—physiologically and psychologically—associated with the resolution of crying.9”

Doesn’t this ensure that crying is normal? Our bodies are already programmed with this natural recovery method from the stress that we have to endure every day. They’ve already prepared for us to feel better after crying and get a restful good night’s sleep! Your mind and body are always working closely together and their current job is to get you through the night. 

Crying is Hope

As you face your tear-filled nights, I want you to know this; everything is okay. This might not make sense right now, but things never make sense when you’re down in the dumps. We associate tears with weakness, but rather, we should start to associate them with a feeling of strength. Tears are a sign that you’re owning up to the pains that the world is throwing at you. You’re acknowledging and processing them at your own pace. It’s a sign that we’re all only human; to love, to hurt, and to heal.

These nights are not defeats, but just part of the process of healing. Maybe we should mark off each day on the calendar that we cry! (Just a joke, but it’s a pretty interesting idea…) We would be noting each day that we became a tiny bit stronger, creating a record of our resilience.

You are not failing. You are processing, healing, growing. Every tear you shed is washing away a little bit of your pain, making room for future joy.

I won't tell you that the sadness will magically disappear overnight. Healing is a process, and it takes time. But I can tell you, from my own experience, that these nights of sorrow do become less frequent. The pain does lessen. And one day, you'll realize that you've slept through the night without tears, and it will feel like a small victory.

Vomiting and crying until you're completely okay.

The nights when I couldn’t stop vomiting.

It wasn’t easy. Even from just reading the title of this section, you can imagine how I felt at that moment. There are times in our lives when we feel like everything’s gone to shit. For me, that was this one breakup.

It was the end of a relationship that I had never seen coming, and I had no idea it would end this way. I thought things were going great (even to the point of considering marriage) until I got that one feeling and that one message, to the one conversation that led to us deciding that we didn’t need each other anymore. 

Those two months were spent staring at the ceiling for hours on end, with the occasional break of sobbing my heart out until I felt like I didn’t have any tears to cry anymore. Occasionally, it got so bad that I started physically vomiting from the depression I was going through. I really didn’t understand how I was vomiting. It’s just the emotions that were coursing through me, how was it possible that I was vomiting out everything when I hadn’t eaten for days? There was nothing in my stomach and it was an experience that I had never felt before. 

I struggled to find myself, and as everyone likes to say when they break up, I went on this “healing journey.” But in reality, it takes a while until you get to the point where you can even start doing that. 

On those nights, huddled over the toilet with my tears mixing with the contents of my stomach, I felt utterly broken. But little did I know, this huge turning point in my life became the foundation for what I felt like I wanted to now dedicate my life to - this blog, and my mission to help others feel just a little bit better each day.

The Mind-Body Connection: Why We Get Sick When We're Sad

Why does extreme emotional distress make us physically ill?

One of the first articles that I read to try to understand how I felt was on Cleveland Clinic.

““Your anxious feelings can translate into a whole range of gastrointestinal (GI) symptoms, including stress nausea, abdominal pain, changes in bowel habits and even stress vomiting,” Dr Tramontana explains.”

The connection between our minds and bodies is truly complex. When we're in a state of intense emotional pain, our body goes into an immediate stress response. This triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can cause physical symptoms including nausea and vomiting. It was only here that I realized how connected our minds and our bodies were.

Finding Purpose in Pain: The Birth of a Mission

But here's the thing - as awful as it feels, this physical purging can actually be a step toward healing. (Isn’t that insane?) Just as our tears release emotional toxins, vomiting can feel like a physical release of our pain. It's our body's way of saying, "I can't hold this anymore." Just like that, our body turns our emotions, something intangible, into vomit, a physical substance that we can get rid of from our bodies!

Those nights of combined emotional and physical purging became a turning point for me. They stripped me bare, yes, but they also cleared the way for a new perspective. Each time, I got up from the toilet and rinsed out my mouth, feeling a tiny bit better than I did before. I would talk to the two closest friends I had about it, I even ended up vomiting on call once…

With their reassurance, I realized that if I could survive feeling this awful, I could survive anything. More importantly, I understood that no one should have to go through such pain alone.

That's when the idea for this blog was born. I wanted to create a space where people could come when they felt overwhelmed, a place that said, "I see you. I've been there. And I promise you, everything will be okay."

The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Everything Is Okay

Because that's the truth I wish I had known back then: everything is okay. Even when it feels like your world is ending, even when you're crying so hard you're sick, even when you can't see a way forward - you are okay. This pain is not forever. 

The experience changed me profoundly. It taught me empathy in a way I'd never known before. It showed me the strength that lies within vulnerability. It helped me understand that our lowest moments can become our greatest teachers if we let them.

A Message of Hope: You Are Not Alone

To anyone reading this who's in that dark place right now: I see you. I feel your pain. And I want you to know that you are not alone. What you're feeling is valid, and it's okay to let it out - whether that's through tears, through physical illness, or both.

Remember, your body is trying to help you. It's attempting to process and release the immense emotions you're experiencing. It's okay to let that happen. It's okay to cry until you're empty. It's okay to be sick with grief. It's all okay.

And when the storm passes - because it will pass - you'll find that you're still standing. You might be shaky, you might be exhausted, but you'll be there. And you'll be stronger for having survived through it.

Everything is okay. You are okay. This pain is not your forever state. It's a moment in time, a chapter in your story. And just like every storm eventually clears, this too shall pass.

So cry if you need to. Let your body process this pain however it needs to. And know that on the other side of this, there's healing. There's growth. There's a version of you that's more compassionate, more resilient, and more beautiful for having gone through this.

You are not alone. We're in this together. And I promise you, from the bottom of my heart, everything is going to be okay.

Tears Are Not a Crisis: Why Crying Is a Natural Part of Healing

Have you ever found yourself fighting back tears, worried that everything might fall apart if you let them run? You're not alone.

Many of us have been conditioned to view crying as a sign of weakness or a precursor to disaster. But here's the truth: crying is not an emergency. It’s normal. Crying is just a healthy and natural part of being human.

We mistake our tears for trouble and correlate it to being a negative thing, but in reality, embracing our emotions and letting ourselves cry is what really promotes profound healing.

The Misunderstood Nature of Tears

From a young age, we're often taught to "be strong" and all we hear is "don't cry."
Every time I’m on the brink of tears and someone’s next to me, the first thing I hear is always “are you okay?” and by “don’t cry.”

But why?

They say it with good intentions because we all believe that tears are a problem to be solved rather than a normal expression of our feelings. We might worry that crying will:

  1. Make others uncomfortable
  2. Show that we're not in control
  3. Indicate that we're weak or incapable
  4. Lead to judgment or ridicule

But these fears are based on misconceptions. Crying is a biological process designed to help us process emotions and release tension. It's not a sign of weakness—it's a sign of being human.

Let’s put it this way. Every single one of us, when we were born into the world as babies, we were born crying. It doesn’t get more human than that. 

When Tears Feel Like an Emergency

There are times when crying can feel particularly overwhelming, leading us to believe it's an emergency situation:

  1. Out in public: Being seen crying can be perceived as unprofessional and unprofessional for making it something public. We weren’t able to hold it in like we think how everyone else typically does. We think people cry at home, so why is this person crying outside?
  2. During conflict: Crying during an argument might make us feel like we've "lost.” We don’t have control over the situation or our emotions, and crying has taken over the best of us.
  3. When we're already stressed: If we're dealing with multiple challenges, tears can feel like the "last straw." What else can we do? 
  4. After holding emotions in for too long: When we finally let our guard down, the rush of emotions can feel overwhelming. We put up this stone wall to everyone, pretending like we’re okay, but realistically, that can never last forever.

In these moments, remember: your tears are not a problem to be solved. They're a natural part of your emotional process.

The Truth About Crying: It's Okay

Here's what's really happening when you cry:

  1. Emotional release: Crying helps you process and release pent-up emotions, leading to a sense of relief.
  2. Stress reduction: Tears contain stress hormones, physically removing them from your body.
  3. Self-soothing: The act of crying can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you calm down.
  4. Communication: Tears can signal to others that you need support, potentially strengthening your relationships.
  5. Healing: Crying is often a crucial step in processing difficult experiences and moving forward.

There are so many resources emphasizing why it's good to cry! Check out this article from Harvard Health!

Everything Is Okay

When you feel tears welling up, take a deep breath and remind yourself: everything is okay.

You're not falling apart—you're letting go of what no longer need. You're not weak—you're human. You're not causing a scene—you're honoring your emotions.

Everything is okay.


Embracing Your Tears

Instead of fighting your tears, try this instead:

  1. Give yourself permission to cry: Find a safe, comfortable space where you can let your emotions flow freely. (Maybe here, whenever you feel like you need to! It’s the whole reason why I started this blog!)
  2. Practice self-compassion: Speak to yourself kindly, as you would to a dear friend who's crying. If your close friend came to you needing help, you would console them! Don’t be harsh on yourself, you can console yourself too!
  3. Journal: Write about your feelings before, during, or after crying to gain insight into your emotions. I find that writing out my feelings and thoughts force me to really think through what’s truly making me feel a certain way. When it’s in my head, it’s still a ball of yarn that I haven’t thought through. Things are colliding with each other, tangled, and it all doesn’t make sense, except for that fact that I’m sad. However, writing forces me to truly digest my feelings, cause you’re churning your brain to put it on paper in a way that you can understand when you re-read it.
  4. Reach out: Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Remember, vulnerability can strengthen connections. Just like you’ve been there for them, they’ll also be there for you. 
  5. Breathe: Focus on slow, deep breaths to help ground yourself as you experience your emotions. Life is simple. We need to breathe, eat, and sleep. We don’t need much else to truly stay alive, at the bare minimum. Take control of what you can right now, and do a few deep breaths.

A New Perspective on Tears

Imagine a world where we viewed crying not as an emergency, but as a natural, healing process. Where tears were met with compassion instead of alarm. Where we allowed ourselves and others the space to feel deeply without judgment.

This world is possible, and it starts with you. The next time you feel tears coming on, remember: this is not an emergency. You are safe. You are healing. You are human.

Crying is a testament to your ability to feel, to care, to connect with your innermost self. It's a sign that you're alive, that you're processing, that you're growing. And that, my dear friend, is beautifully, wonderfully okay.

So let the tears come. Let them wash over you, cleansing your spirit and renewing your strength. Because on the other side of those tears is a calmer, more centered you—ready to face whatever comes next with an open heart and a clear mind.

Remember, in the grand tapestry of life, your tears are not a flaw—they're a golden thread, weaving together your experiences and emotions into the beautiful, complex person you are. And that person deserves all the compassion, understanding, and love in the world—starting with your own.

Crying through COVID: Finding release in tears

Hey friends! Today, we're going to talk about something we all went through and are still dealing with: the emotional rollercoaster of the COVID-19 pandemic. One thing that has been a common thread for many of us during this time is crying. Whether it’s out of stress, grief, or just pure overwhelm, crying has been a way for many of us to cope with the intense emotions brought on by the pandemic. Let's dive into how crying has helped us release stress during COVID and why it's still a crucial part of our emotional health today.

The Early Days: Tears of Uncertainty and Fear

Remember those early days of the pandemic? Everything was so uncertain. We didn’t know what was going to happen, how long it would last, or how it would impact our lives. This uncertainty brought a lot of fear and anxiety. Many of us found ourselves crying more often, sometimes without even knowing why. It was like our bodies were trying to process all the stress and fear in the only way they knew how—through tears.

Crying as a Stress Reliever

Crying has always been a natural stress reliever. When the pandemic hit, it was like our stress levels went through the roof. Jobs were lost, schools closed, and we were isolated from friends and family. All these changes created a massive amount of stress. For many people, crying became a way to let out some of that built-up tension. It was a release valve, a way to cope with the constant pressure we were all under.

I remember one night during the lockdown, I just broke down. I had been trying to keep it together for weeks, but the stress finally caught up with me. I cried for what felt like hours. But after that, I felt a strange sense of relief. It was like I had let out all the fear and uncertainty that had been building up inside me.

Grieving Lost Loved Ones

One of the hardest parts of the pandemic has been losing loved ones. Whether it was directly due to COVID or other health conditions, many of us have had to say goodbye to family and friends. This grief has been profound, and crying has been a big part of how we process these losses.

It's important to remember that crying when grieving is not just normal—it's necessary. It helps us come to terms with our loss and start the healing process. Even now, as we continue to navigate life after the height of the pandemic, many of us still find ourselves crying for those we’ve lost. It’s a way to honor their memory and acknowledge our pain.

Long-Term Health Effects and Ongoing Stress

Even though the worst of the pandemic might be behind us, the effects are still very much present. Some people are dealing with long-term health conditions due to COVID. Others are facing ongoing stress from the economic and social impacts of the pandemic. Crying continues to be a way for us to handle this prolonged stress.

For instance, someone might find themselves crying out of frustration because their health hasn’t fully recovered, or because they’re still struggling to find a stable job. These tears are a way to process ongoing challenges and find some emotional release.

The Universality of Tears

One of the beautiful things about crying is that it’s universal. Everyone, regardless of age, gender, or background, cries. It’s a fundamental part of being human. During the pandemic, this shared experience of crying connected us in a way. We were all going through it together, and tears were a common language.

Crying is Still Okay

Even as we move forward, it’s important to remember that crying is still okay. The pandemic has left a lasting impact on all of us, and it’s natural to have moments where it all feels like too much. If you find yourself crying, know that it’s a healthy way to release stress and process emotions.

If you’re having a tough day, don’t hold back the tears. Find a safe space, let it out, and remember that it’s okay to cry. Whether you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, ongoing health issues, or just the lingering stress of the pandemic, crying can help you cope.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Healing Power of Tears

Crying has been a lifeline for many of us during the pandemic. It’s helped us release stress, process grief, and navigate the overwhelming emotions we’ve faced. As we continue to move forward, let’s embrace the healing power of our tears. They remind us that we’re human, that we’re connected, and that we’re capable of healing.

Thanks for reading, friends. Remember, it’s okay to cry. Your tears are a testament to your strength and resilience. Stay kind to yourself and others, and keep embracing the beautiful, cathartic power of your emotions.

Crying for no reason at all is still okay.

Hey! You might have clicked into this completely relating to crying randomly or not, but thank you for visiting.

Today, we’re diving into something that’s happened to all of us: crying without knowing why. You know those moments when you’re just going about your day, and suddenly, tears start streaming down your face? 

Yeah, we’ve all been there, and why? Either way, it’s totally okay. 

The Weird Science of Unexplained Tears

So, why do we cry out of the blue? Well, it turns out there’s some science behind it. Our emotions are super complex and influenced by all sorts of things, like our environment, hormones, and even our subconscious mind.

When we cry, our brain releases stress hormones that sometimes build up without us realizing it. These hormones need a way out, and tears are the perfect escape route. That’s why you might find yourself crying while doing the dishes or watching a random commercial.

It’s just your body’s way of saying, “Hey, I need a break!”

Emotional Overload and the Need to Let Go

Other times, we genuinely just feel the need to cry.

And that’s okay.

There’s always going to be those days where everything just feels wrong.

Work isn’t going well, your raise got denied, or it feels like there’s no one by your side.. You feel overwhelmed and there’s nothing you can really imagine doing. Even if you can pinpoint why you feel so bad, you still need an outlet.

All these little stresses pile up. That’s emotional overload. Our brains can only handle so much before they need to let off some steam. Crying is our natural pressure release valve.

Take this one memory for example. I was sitting in my studio while working on my architecture projects, and suddenly, I just started bawling. I wasn’t sad about anything specific; it was just everything at once. The stress, the fatigue, all of it just came out in tears. And you know what? I felt so much better afterward.

Hormones: The Sneaky Culprits

Hormones can be sneaky little things too, messing with our emotions without us even realizing it. That time of the month can turn us into emotional roller coasters. But it’s not just women—guys can experience hormonal changes too. Stress hormones, changes in diet, even lack of sleep can throw anyone off balance. Maybe there is such a thing as roid rage…

The Subconscious Mind at Work

Crying might even be tried from our subconscious! Our subconscious is like this deep, mysterious ocean of thoughts and memories. What is it even? Sometimes, something small can trigger a big emotional response.

It could be a smell, a song, or even a random thought that stirs up old memories or unresolved feelings.

One day, I was cleaning up around the house and started sorting through piles of age old memorabilia. Looking through my old yearbooks, I was overcome with a sense of nostalgia, but nothing really stood out to me in particular. Next thing I knew, I realized my eyes were starting to well up just a bit. It wasn’t to the point where it started flowing down my face but I knew that if I blinked, I would feel a few teardrops start to run.

I don’t know why that happened, but it did. And it was nice.

Why Crying Is Actually Good for You

Believe it or not, crying has some serious benefits. It’s like a free therapy session! Here’s why:

  1. Emotional Detox: Crying helps release pent-up emotions, keeping them from turning into bigger problems like anxiety or depression.
  2. Mood Booster: After a good cry, your body releases endorphins, which are like natural mood lifters.
  3. Better Sleep: Letting go of emotional tension through crying can lead to more restful sleep.
  4. Stronger Connections: Sharing tears with someone can deepen your bond and make you feel more connected.

How to Embrace Your Tears

So, how do you deal with those unexpected tears? Here are a few tips:

  1. Find Your Safe Space: Create a comfortable spot where you can cry freely, like your bedroom or a cozy corner of your home. It’s pretty scary to cry when we’re outside with so many wandering eyes, but if you have to, that’s okay too. Everyone around you has been there and they’ll understand. 
  2. Don’t Judge Your Emotions: It’s okay to cry, even if you don’t know why. Accept your feelings without judgment. The other option would be to wrestle it back inside, but you don’t feel better if you do that.
  3. Trigger the Tears: Sometimes, a sad song or movie can help bring on the tears if you’re feeling emotionally blocked. I used to listen to a lot of Keshi whenever I needed a break. I would take occasional breaks in school, going to the rooftop, to just lay down, stare at the sky, and force a few tears out to his music. 
  4. Talk It Out: Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Talking about what’s on your mind can help you understand why you’re crying.
  5. Write It Down: Journaling can be a great way to process your emotions and figure out what’s triggering your tears. Think about it this way. Journaling is putting pen to paper, and putting your thoughts down. You’re making what was just an idea in your head to something tangible that you can read or touch. It’s no longer just in your head anymore! You’re a bit more free from those thoughts, and you can carry on with your day. 

After the Cry: Self-Care Time

After a good cry, take some time to care for yourself. Drink some water, take deep breaths, and do something calming like reading, meditating, or taking a walk. Remember, crying is a natural way to cope with emotions, and it’s perfectly okay to let it out.

No matter what your routine turns out to be, it’s important to realize that it’s what we needed all along. 

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Mystery of Your Tears

Crying without knowing why is just part of being human. It’s our body’s way of dealing with built-up emotions, hormonal changes, and subconscious triggers. By embracing these moments with kindness and understanding, we can improve our emotional well-being and find more peace in our lives.

Thanks for reading this today, and remember, it’s totally okay to cry.

Your tears are a sign of your strength, your humanity, and your ability to heal. Stay kind to yourself and others, and keep embracing the beautiful, cathartic power of your emotions.

The Healing Power of Tears: Why Crying is the Ultimate Free Therapy

Crying is more than just shedding tears.

It’s your body’s way of processing emotions and making you feel better in the moment. In 2024, all we hear about is mental health and therapy, but to what extent does therapy always help you? I haven’t gone through therapy myself, as I’ve heard so many stories about not finding the right therapist, not getting the right advice to feel better afterward, and especially the fact that we might not always have that type of money lying around to put towards something that we’re not sure is right for us. Therapy might work, but crying will work.

Crying is something that we already do and when we start to think more about it, why wouldn’t we? It’s a free, readily available way to process emotions and find peace. Let’s think a bit about why crying is so cathartic and how it can be a healthy alternative to traditional therapy.

The Science of Crying

When we cry, our lacrimal glands produce tears, which come in three types: basal, reflex, and emotional.

Basal tears keep our eyes moist, reflex tears help protect our eyes from irritants, and emotional tears are produced when we experience strong emotions. These emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones and toxins compared to the other types, which means that crying helps release stress from our bodies. Research indicates that crying can stimulate the release of endorphins, which are natural painkillers, and oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” These chemicals help reduce both physical and emotional pain, creating a sense of relief and well-being.

Isn’t this the same effect that we wished therapy would achieve? 

Crying as a Cathartic Release

Have you noticed that you feel miles better after crying? This is because crying acts as an emotional release. Bottling up emotions can lead to increased stress and physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues. Crying allows us to express and release these emotions in a healthy manner. It serves as an emotional reset, similar to a detox for the soul, helping to clear away emotional clutter. After crying, people often report feeling lighter, calmer, and more centered. It’s a form of self-care accessible to everyone, anytime and anywhere.

Crying vs. Therapy: A Free Alternative

While therapy is a great tool for mental health, offering a structured environment to explore and understand our feelings, it can be costly and inaccessible for many. Crying, however, is free and always available. Although it’s not a replacement for therapy, it can complement professional treatment by providing a way to release pent-up emotions in the moment, making stress and anxiety easier to manage daily.

(Also, just trying talking to a friend! You might be surprised by how much others care for you.)

Cultural Perspectives on Crying

Cultural attitudes towards crying vary widely. In some cultures, it is seen as a sign of weakness, particularly for men, which can prevent people from expressing their emotions freely. Challenging these outdated notions is important. Crying is not a sign of weakness but a sign of being human. Everyone, regardless of gender, should feel free to express their emotions without shame. Embracing our tears allows us to be more authentic and connected to our true selves.

How to Embrace Your Tears

If you’ve been holding back your tears, consider these tips to embrace the healing power of crying:

  • Create a Safe Space: Find a quiet, comfortable place where you feel safe to cry.
  • Allow Yourself to Feel: Don’t judge your emotions. All feelings are valid, whether triggered by a sad movie, a stressful day, or deeper issues.
  • Use Music or Movies: A sad song or touching movie can help trigger tears, especially if you’re feeling emotionally blocked.
  • Talk to Someone: Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member for support.
  • Journal Your Emotions: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them and may lead to a good cry.

The Happy Aftermath

After crying, take a moment to care for yourself. Drink some water, take deep breaths, and engage in a calming activity like reading, meditating, or walking. Crying is a natural and healthy way to cope with emotions, reminding us of our humanity and the depth of our feelings.

Final Thoughts: The Cathartic Power of Crying

Crying is a natural gift that helps release pent-up emotions and find peace. It’s accessible to everyone and doesn’t require any special tools or appointments. While therapy is incredibly valuable, crying can be a powerful supplement to professional help or a standalone method for emotional relief. So, the next time you feel the tears welling up, don’t hold back. Embrace them and let them do their healing work.

Stay kind to yourself and others, and keep embracing the cathartic power of your emotions.


With warmest wishes from someone who cares,
Jack

Emoequilibrium: Helping manage your emotions

You're probably asking what emoequilibrium is.

During my final year of architecture school, I took a photography class. I finally met other students with different perspectives coming from different majors. We see students from other majors infrequently as we're just holed up in our building after finishing any gen eds that we have. Meeting new friends here was exactly when I came to coin the term emoequlibrium. 

As I was designing a space to cry for my thesis, one of my friends in chemistry compared it to equilibrium. Equilibrium refers to getting as close as possible to a stable state but never being able to reach it or stay there. It's the constant push and pull from all the different forces that keeps it from staying at 0. This immediately struck me as the same way that we process emotions. If we think about anger and sadness as the two ends of the spectrum, we can take this concept and apply it to our own emotions. Taking time out of the equation, our mental state constantly fluctuates between the two. We'll never be in a neutral state where we don't feel anything. Even if we're not all the way at one end or the other, there's no point in saying we're completely fine.

After a while, we always end up moving away from that state of zero. It might be that your friend ticked you off, your family started asking you to do a few tasks, or even something as small as the temperature in the room that annoyed you. Anything at all can and will push you off of that neutral state.

Now that we've established that our emotions are always in flux, what can we do to help us reach the center again? Just like chemistry, there has to be another force that brings us back to being more neutral.

Let’s say anger is at 1, neutral at 0, and sadness at -1. If we started at 1, say, maybe because of the train being stuck on our commute to work in the morning, we usually have to calm down to at least negotiate ourselves back towards 0 before working or chatting with coworkers. Everyone has a different coping technique to negotiate with their own internal feelings. That might be making your morning coffee, texting a friend about it, or just letting time ease those feelings into the ground. These are the mechanisms that we realized that work for ourselves, but I've realized that when everything goes down the drain, the technique that we've all shared since birth to remediate Our emotions is; crying. 

No matter where you are on the spectrum from -1 to 1, you need a cathartic release. Our emotions vary way too much. You dump the load off your shoulders but eventually, the load will come back. You get sad, you get angry, and sometimes, talking to a friend or working out just isn't enough. 

At those points, we can't help but just cry. 

Crying is almost like an emotional trash can. You can cry when you get sad. You can cry when you get angry. Even when you don't know what you're feeling and you're just confused about your feelings, you can cry. The best thing is, in all of those situations, crying helps you get back to that neutral state of zero.

Crying is that universal language that we all understand. It's the one method that we all share to cope with and understand our emotions, the most fickle thing about us that makes us human. 

With emoequilibrium, it puts our existence into perspective. Our emotions are what make us human and we need a dependable way to regulate them.

Helping others understand that crying is healthy and that it's okay to cry is something that I'm extremely passionate about. Emoequilibrium is one of the terms that I'd love for us here to all become familiar with to understand that no matter what life throws at us, everything will eventually be okay.