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The Power of Crying: 4 Reasons Why You Should Cry

There's at least 4 reasons why you should cry! Crying is this thing that we’ve always been so scared to do, but in reality, crying is the thing that keeps us all going. It keeps us mentally sane, regulates our emotions, and releases all the pent-up frustration we’ve been keeping inside.

There’s no reason why we shouldn’t cry. Can you think of any? Each reason that I’ve ever come across to not cry is just a preconception that’s been drilled into our head, but it keeps us farther and farther away from feeling better. There are actually at least five great reasons why I think we should all cry, not to cry on demand, but just to allow the rivers to flow when we need to.


1. Crying is our main emotional regulator.

Our urge to cry is a natural response that our body is urging us to do. We’ve gone through something stressful and want to cry, so there’s no reason why we should hold it back. Crying helps us release endorphins, oxytocin, and especially stress hormones.

With endorphins, these are our body’s natural painkillers and mood lifters, helping us reduce physical and emotional pain, and inducing a sense of well-being and relaxation. This is the reason why we feel so much lighter after we cry! 

Oxytocin is the hormone that’s often referred to as the “love” or “bonding” hormone, promoting feelings of trust, empathy, and connection with others. The few people that we’re willing to cry in front of are usually the people that we’re the closest to and are comfortable being vulnerable in front of. Crying only makes this bond stronger. 

Best of all, crying reduces our stress. Our overall stress level goes down after we cry, as it’s the most cathartic feeling that you can experience whenever you’re stressed. Whenever you feel pent up and frustrated from life, think of crying as an emotional bathroom. It’s there for you to get rid of all the toxins within your body, just one cry at a time. 

2. Crying improves our relationships.

Engaging in regular crying can enhance our emotional intelligence. Each time we cry, we’re allowing ourselves to experience and express our emotions fully. We become more aware and understand ourselves better, which in turn, helps us understand other people better. We know how they feel when we see them cry, because we’ve gone through the same thing ourselves. It improves our communication, empathy, and even problem-solving skills. You can share your own experiences, encourage others to embrace those emotions and understand that it’s okay to cry. 

It’s not embarrassing to cry in front of someone! Okay, it might be a little embarrassing at first. But after a while, you realize that you’ve created a really close bond to someone who you’re okay with being vulnerable in front of! You have someone to validate your struggles, and you’re creating a supportive community that understands the value of crying and regulating your emotions. Break down those societal barriers and misconceptions about crying. It’s what makes us feel better. 

3. Crying keeps us healthy!

Other than just the emotions surrounding crying, it actually gives us great physical benefits too! Our tear ducts are producing tears that help cleanse and lubricate our eyes. There’s fake tear drops for a reason!

Not that we want you to cry all the time, but having some tears come out can get rid of dust and allergens, especially during this pollen season. The relief that we feel from crying gets rid of some of the pain that comes from the headaches that build up when we’re stressed as well! The endorphins released from crying are our body’s natural painkillers, getting rid of the pain that we feel from headaches and migraines. 

4. Crying is self-care.

It really is. Contrary to popular belief, crying does not make us weak. In fact, it makes us stronger and more resilient. We’re acknowledging our emotions and processing them in a healthy way, engaging in self-care and self-reflection. It helps us bounce back from difficult situations and face challenges right after with a clear mind. Embracing our emotions is the first step while crying helps us let them go and carry on. 

Personally, I’ve noticed that crying is especially looked down upon among men. We’re often unable to express our emotions openly. That creates a barrier between us and our loved ones for clear and effective communication. With romantic relationships, the avoidance of our emotions can often lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and a lack of emotional connection.

If you’re a man, know that it’s okay to cry! If not, tell your boyfriend and all your other male friends that it’s okay to cry! We’re missing out on crucial opportunities for self-reflection and personal development. Understanding our emotions instead of neglecting them is a fundamental part of being human. When we don’t express our emotions, how can our partners ever understand what we need, desire, and are concerned with?

It’s crucial that we challenge society’s expectations of suppressing our emotions just because we’re men. It’s especially because we’re men that we need to understand ourselves and use crying as a healthy way to not just cope with, but process our emotions.

Let your tears flow.

So, the next time you want to cry, let it flow. Crying is a release valve for all those pent-up emotions and tension that you’ve kept inside. You can see those intangible emotions become something that you touch and feel. It validates your experience and most importantly, makes you feel better. 

You don't have to cry alone.

Misery loves company, so don't cry alone. Remember that time when you accidentally cried in front of someone? You weren’t able to hold it in and ended up bursting into tears. How did they respond? 9 times out of 10, you weren’t shamed for crying, but you were comforted. They understood the pain that you felt because they too, were once in that same position. Where you feel like everything around you is falling apart, asking yourself why you were the one who pulled the short end of the stick, and just, why, why is the world treating me like this?


Others have felt the same way.


You feel that way but truly, you’re not alone in this horrible world. Other people know this pain just as well as you do. They’ve gone through the motions of sobbing, going to the next day, sobbing again, and repeating this painful cycle over and over again until they’ve reached the state they are now. Due to the fact that they’ve gone through this already, they know that this pain will pass and they reassure you that things will be okay, as they always are. 

It’s okay to open up to others and share the feelings that you’ve kept pent up inside. In fact, we often never feel better if we don’t let these thoughts out. We keep them in for no good reason at all and keep cooking with the same burnt pot, refusing to wash it all clean before making our next meal. How much better is life when you’re starting a new day without all the baggage that was weighing you down yesterday? Take a minute to cry, and wash away the heaviness on your shoulders.


Time really does heal.


It’s a pretty cliche thing to say, but I truly do believe that time heals all. Time heals all because the emotional pain that we feel comes in waves. It’s just like low tide and high tide. Stronger once but weaker the next, our feelings about things work the same way too. These waves of emotion crash against you and sting so badly when it happens. But think about a similar situation that you went through maybe a month ago. That situation isn’t affecting the present day you as much as it affected you a month ago.

Now, think about one of those negative situations an entire year ago! That’s what I consider low tide.

You feel the pain when remembering that, but it’s now bearable. The grief hits you at just your feet, barely getting your toes wet. Comparing that to how you felt back then or how the current situation is treating you now, don’t you agree that time has worked its magic?

The impact of that situation on you is getting weaker and weaker as time passes. So just as temporary as it is, it gives you time to deal with the problem, hopefully in a weaker state.

The pain will pass. (Emo-equilibrium)

The essence of what I find to be within our emotions is something which I’ve coined the term; emo-equilibrium.

So, you don't need to cry alone.

Crying has always been beautiful.

How beautiful would it be to be crying with a view like this?

What makes you cry?

Most of the time, there's always a reason why we start crying. And more likely than not, it's something negative that's happened in our lives. Someone's passed away, you got rejected from a job after hundreds of job applications, or you're looking at all your friends in these happy relationships and wondering why you can't have the same.

We get sad after thinking about it all and start to cry. These things are happening. And we can cry. We cry and cry some more, thinking about the same sad occurrence over and over again. People tell you to stop crying, thinking it's a sign of weakness or maybe they're just sick of seeing us cry. Crying has always had this negative connotation, but it isn't the case at all.

Accepting Crying

Actually, I've started to look at crying as a sort of acceptance. Crying helps you remediate all the confusing feelings that are going through your head (and heart). I say heart because your brain can't make sense of everything. What you perceive might make you sad might be illogical, but there's still a reason why you're sad and want to cry. It's not that it's wrong to cry just because it's illogical, but gives you even more reason to cry because your brain can't make sense of it, but your heart can. 

Your heart is processing that pent-up emotion because your brain can't. It's turning those depressing and sad thoughts into something you can physically see. The pain you're feeling inside is so intangible that your body wants to make something to help your brain make sense of the crazy situation. Think of crying as this emotional trash can, helping your body discard these sad emotions. It might be the pile of scrunched-up tissues that you're now throwing away, or the wetness on your arm from using your arm to wipe away all the tears. Or maybe you're just in shock, with tears slowly rolling down your face. 

The thing is, that act of crying is beautiful. The same thing that was twisting yourself up is no longer inside you. And yes, you might argue that it's a temporary solution until you get sad about it again. But honestly, we can't deny that it makes us feel better at that one moment right?

We're free from those negative emotions for a beautiful five minutes and can think clearly and carry on with our lives. So why is crying so shunned? Why does everyone tell us “Don't cry, don't cry?”

I'm here to tell you that it’s okay to cry. It's not even just okay to cry, it's absolutely beautiful to be able to cry. Especially if you're someone who doesn't cry often, you probably have a lot of pent-up emotion that's been bottling up. Crying has always had this negative connotation but the more that you think about it, why is that? 

Don't you always sleep the best after a good cry? Don't you always feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders? We're shunned from crying in public and whenever we see someone doing that, we feel bad for them. We know that they're going through something difficult and taxing. We're watching them process their emotions in a way that the world has taught us to. 

So cry! Don't hold it in the next time you feel those tears start to well up; instead, let it flow. I want you to remember that it's completely normal. I promise that you’ll always feel better afterward.

I want to leave you with one last note! Just like the way that I'm telling you that it's okay to cry, remember to put a smile on! Even if you're sad, putting on that smile for yourself will convince you that things are going well. The more that you do it, the more that you'll believe it, and you'll soon be five minutes happier.

let's quickly make 5 minutes of your day happier.

Where I've been & how I got here

Imagine you've just graduated college, started a corporate job, and trying to figure out if this is really what you want to do with your life.

Well, that's actually me. My name's Jack, and thank you for taking the time to read this. 

Despite being on a straight and narrow path throughout my life, I always wondered what my future would be like. Middle school, high school, and college passed, but nothing really spoke to me until COVID hit, and I finally had time to sit down and think about it.

What did I want to do with my life?

The peak of COVID made me think about mental health, specifically about crying. Being stuck at home can often be suffocating for a lot of people, spending time with only family and no one else. (Not that I don't love my family, but you know what I mean.)

It's hard to get rid of that suffocating feeling, that stuffiness that seems to be perpetually stuck in your chest. It made me wonder - is it downright impossible? It then struck me, the one moment that you’re able to get rid of it. That one true moment of catharsis, in those 5 minutes right after you cry. You're lying limp in your bed, your pillows wet, a pile of tissues next to you, and the room is quiet. You've cried so much that your eyes are swollen, but somehow, it made you feel better. This is the feeling that I'm chasing, and the feeling that I believe everyone finds euphoric. 

“What if I could make a space where everyone can feel this? A space to cry, a space to scream, a space that can give you that utterly cathartic feeling?”

It's going to be a long journey, not just for me, but for all of us. I want everyone to be a little happier, even if it’s just for five minutes out of the day. If I'm able to do that for you, I've served my purpose. 

Life is a vicious cycle, and we all need a place where we can feel safe for a little while. I hope that I can make that safe space for you here, a space where you can cry.

a few calming pictures

Introducing Wayfeel: A Space to Feel, Share, and Heal

For the past few weeks in 2025, I’ve been writing about Wayfeel, the app that I quit my job for.

However, I only realized now that I haven’t written a post that describes exactly what Wayfeel is! My blog, A Space to Cry, has always been about mental health, why it’s okay to cry, and why we need to let our emotions out. But recently, I’ve pivoted to writing about my journey of creating this app. It’s not because I don’t care about mental health anymore—I still really do—but because I’ve been pouring my heart into something that will help you all along that journey. It feels like this is the next step in my progress toward creating content for emotional awareness.

That is what Wayfeel is. 

Wayfeel isn’t just an app. It’s a dream, a community, and my way of helping people understand their emotions in a way that feels real, tangible, and safe. Today, I want to share what Wayfeel is, why it matters, and how it’s changing my life—and hopefully, yours too.

What is Wayfeel?

Wayfeel is an emotional diary journal app with a twist: it’s built around a map.

Here’s how it works:

  • You open the app whenever you feel something—joy, sadness, anger, or even just a weird, unexplainable emotion.
  • You drop a pin on the map, tag it with an emoji, and write a little note about how you’re feeling.
  • Over time, you build a visual diary of your emotions, tied to the places where you felt them.

Doesn’t that sound amazing?

The beauty of Wayfeel is that it helps you create awareness. I find that we often deal with our emotions by ignoring them and letting them fester inside, but that keeps all the negative energy inside us. Instead of doing that, you can physically eject them into the world. When you look back— might be a week, a month, or a year later—you can see those emotions that you felt and track them accurately. You can see the patterns in what 2024 was like and where exactly you felt a certain way in 2023. You’ve grown, you see what used to trigger you back then, and where you’ve found joy.

But Wayfeel isn’t just about logging emotions. It’s about sharing them.

The Community Behind Wayfeel

One of the biggest challenges with emotions is that we’re scared to talk about them. You might not even have that friend group that supports you through navigating your emotions. What if you could use Wayfeel for that?

Here’s how it works:

You can share your pins and notes anonymously.
Others in the community can react, comment, and offer support—also anonymously.

That’s the gap that we wanted to fill, by creating a community where you can anonymously share those emotions. You can have a stranger reply to the emotion that you logged today and feel like you’re seen, that someone knows that you’re feeling pain and sadness and that you’re not completely alone in the world.

On the other hand, maybe you do have those friends that you want to reach out to! However, they’re not always going to be available. They might be at work, with their partners, busy traveling, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you anymore! We don’t want to burden our friends with all the emotional baggage.

What if they could respond to you a little later, on their own accord?

Within Wayfeel, we’re also exploring the idea of creating friend circles, similar to how Life360 has a feature for selecting specific people who you want to share your location with. With a similar feature in Wayfeel, you can share your emotional maps with your friends and they might see how you felt after they got off from work, and reply to that as soon as they see it!

We want to create a safe space where people can express themselves without fear. It’s like having a virtual shoulder to cry on, or a cheerleader when you’re feeling on top of the world.

Why I Created Wayfeel

I’ve talked a lot about how Wayfeel works, but never about where this idea initially came from. Just like how this blog started, I’ve always wanted to make the world a little warmer and a nicer place to exist.
Wayfeel started as my architectural thesis project.

I wanted to create a space where people could cry—where they could let out their emotions without shame. But as I worked on it, I realized that crying is just one part of emotional expression. 

What we really need is awareness. We need to understand why we feel the way we do, and we need to know that our feelings are valid.

That’s what Wayfeel is all about.

The Challenges of Building Wayfeel

Building Wayfeel hasn’t been easy.

1. Finding the Right Team

I’m not a coder. I’m an architect who’s passionate about mental health and most importantly, contributing positively to the world. When I came upon the idea of making Wayfeel, my biggest challenge was figuring out how to code, but I soon realized that it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. I tried coding a few times but the rate of which I was learning was much slower than the passion and ambition I have for it. Right now, I’m lucky to have a friend who works in computer science helping me out, but it’s slow going.

2. Time and Money

I recently quit my corporate job to focus on Wayfeel full-time. It was a scary decision, but it felt necessary. Still, the financial pressure is real. Hosting fees, hiring animators or marketers, even trademarking the app—it all adds up. I’ve been thinking about starting a Kickstarter to help cover some of these costs.

3. Balancing Passion and Practicality

Wayfeel is all I think about. It’s the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing before I go to bed. But balancing that passion with the practicalities of running a business—like filing quarterly taxes—has been a steep learning curve.

My Vision for Wayfeel

When I imagine Wayfeel, I not only see a map covered in emojis, but a happier world. I see people in the same neighborhood realizing they’re not alone in how they feel. I see strangers supporting each other, validating each other’s emotions, and creating a sense of community.

Narrowing down a specific target audience was hard, but I soon realized that it’s an app for everyone who wants to use it. My biggest audience will probably be those around my age in their 20s and 30s, who have started thinking about therapy and mental health, but everyone’s free to use it!

I would love for Wayfeel to become a part of people’s daily lives. Maybe it’s a quick check-in during your morning commute, or a deep dive into your emotions after a tough day. However people use it, I want it to make a difference. In the end, as long as I’ve helped a single person become aware of their emotions and hopefully feel better from the community that it fosters, I’ll have succeeded in my goal.

Why Emotional Awareness Matters

There’s a quote I love: “In order to fix your problems, you have to first realize that you have a problem.”

Emotional awareness is the first step. Without it, we’re just reacting to life instead of understanding it. Wayfeel helps you break down your emotions—where you felt them, why you felt them, and what they mean.

It’s like having an emotional bathroom. Just like you need to physically empty your body of impurities, you need to emotionally empty yourself too. Crying is one way to do that. Talking about your feelings is another. Wayfeel is both.

A Personal Story: Why I Believe in Wayfeel

Wayfeel was born out of my own struggles with emotional expression.

A few years ago, I went through a tough breakup. I had a few friends to talk to, but I often found myself wanting a stranger’s perspective—someone who wasn’t biased, who could just tell me the truth.

That’s what I want Wayfeel to be: a place where people can share their stories and get honest, supportive feedback. A place where no one feels alone.

How You Can Help

If Wayfeel resonates with you, here’s how you can help:

  1. Spread the Word: Share this blog post with anyone who might be interested.
  2. Give Feedback: What would make you feel safe using Wayfeel? What features would you want to see?
  3. Support the Journey: If you’re able, consider supporting Wayfeel through crowdfunding or just by cheering us on.
  4. Send me ideas: I'm always open to chat about what you're passionate about and what you think about Wayfeel! Feel free to send me an email at hello.wayfeel@gmail.com.

Final Thoughts

Wayfeel is more than an app. It’s a dream, a community, and a way to make the world a little kinder, one emotion at a time.

It’s also my way of saying: It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to cry. And it’s okay to share.

Thank you for being part of this journey.

Building an App while Unemployed (12 Things I’ve Learned So Far)

The Alarm That Changed Everything

It’s 7:55 a.m.
My alarm goes off and I start to panic until…
I realize I’m unemployed.

I don’t need to wake up at this time anymore. It's easy for me to just go back to sleep and wake up a few hours later but I remembered that I quit for a reason.

I wanted to build my dream life. I left corporate; a safe job, great people, and no financial worries to take a huge risk. I'm still not completely sure if this was the right choice.

But then, I remember why I’m doing this. Why I’ve been waking up at this ungodly hour. And why I'm so much happier now.

I'm building my dream life. Something where I have control of my time again. Something where I'm working more than I ever was before but it feels like I'm barely working at all. It's a dream that’s been sitting in the back of my head as I just worked on it in the few hours that I had after work, but now I’m able to fully dedicate each day to making it come to life.

I'm building an app to help people bring awareness to their own emotions and share these thoughts with others, without a certain guarantee that everyone will love it. I've interviewed and had coffee chats with a lot of people and they all love the idea, but I have no guarantee that the masses will feel the same way. However, as long as this app can help even at least one person, I’ll have left a positive impact in the world. 

So now, I drag myself out of bed without the dread of continuing an endless 9-5, but with an excitement that this is the start of my journey. This is my life now. 

Morning Routine Experiments: What Works (and What Doesn’t)

When I first decided to start my business, I knew I needed to figure out a way to make time for it.

My weekdays were taken up by my 9-5, leaving only a few hours after work to work on it. Weekends were sprints, but when I adopted this approach, I no longer had a social life or any time to recover from the stress that built up during the day.

Now that I’ve left my job, I have all the time in the world to build it, but it also takes a lot more discipline. There's no one watching over my shoulder to make sure that I'm actually working on it anymore. Motivation comes purely from intrinsic motivation, with no money coming into my bank account at the end of the day. There are a few different methods I tried this past week to make myself work, let's take a look at them. 

1. The “Jump Out of Bed and Go” Approach

I thought if I just forced myself to get up and start working immediately, I’d be able to do it. It would be just like my 9-5, where I autopiloted my commute to work and started clacking away at the keyboard. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work. Instead, I spent the first hour staring blankly at my screen, trying hard to resist the temporary dopamine boosts of playing Teamfight Tactics or League of Legends first thing in the morning.

Verdict: Fail.

2. The “Meditate and Manifest” Routine

Next, I tried starting my day with meditation and yoga. After brushing my teeth, I'd lay out my yoga mat, then stretch and wake up a little bit for 15 minutes. It felt nice, but by the time I was done, I felt like I had already done something so productive that it warranted a bit of game time. I think this can work, but only after it's become something as habitual as brushing my teeth first thing in the morning.

Verdict: Possible, but need to get to work right after.

3. The “Just Start” Method

This is where I’m at now. I wake up, resist doom-scrolling, brush my teeth, do some yoga, and then just sit down at my computer. I leave my phone in the living room and just open the list of tasks that I need to get done within the day. Just me, my computer, and the quiet hum of the early morning. As long as I remove all of the other distractions and have a task list from the night before, starting to work usually gets me to tap into a full hour of deep work. 

Verdict: It works when I'm able to start.

Productivity Struggles: When Your Brain Refuses to Cooperate

Honestly, building a business at 5 a.m. is hard. 

Actually, building any sort of long-lasting business is hard, no matter what time it is. It's actually something I'm learning about in the Millionaire Fast Lane by M.J. DeMarco, one of the many business books that I'm currently reading. Being able to start a business with minimal resistance violates the commandment of entry. 

How easy would life be if anyone could start a million-dollar business at the snap of their fingers?

There's always going to be obstacles, and as promised, I'm not holding any of it back. I'm not only sharing why it's great to start and own your own business but the difficulties that make me wonder if I made the right decision.

1. Decision Fatigue

By the time I get through half the day, I've already made so many design, business, or tech decisions. How am I supposed to build this all on my own, even with the help of AI? I'm able to use AI to help me do research and shorten the amount of time that it takes to do certain things, but I still need to make all these decisions in the end.

What should I prioritize today? Should I tweak the website or work on marketing? By mid-day, I’m already exhausted from having to juggle a million things.

2. The Guilt of Not Doing Enough

There’s always this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I’m not doing enough. I should be working harder, faster, better. Why take breaks when you could spend that time being productive?

However, as you all know, mindlessly working usually isn't the answer. Breaks are essential to keep you mentally insane, especially in the crazy world that we have right now.


Every day is a constant battle to remind myself that progress is still progress, no matter how small each task is. Think about it like compound interest, all these small things will grow into a huge snowball at one point!

3. The Temptation to Quit

Some mornings, I wake up and think, Why am I even doing this?

I have bills to pay. I have a family who expects me to have a full-time job. Worst of all, I don’t know when any of this will give me my first dollar.

It’s lonely, it’s exhausting, and it feels like I’m not getting anywhere.

Productivity Wins: Small Victories That Keep Me Going

Despite the struggles, there are always moments of triumph. Little wins that remind me why I’m putting myself through this.

1. The MVP

When trying to build an app, I realized that I needed the help of someone who needed to code. When I got my friend aboard to help me figure out how to make my vision a reality, it was amazing! He started working on a minimum viable product (MVP) that would serve as our proof of concept and seeing the first page come together was the happiest that I had felt in a while.

It was proof that this might happen. It wasn’t all speculation anymore. I was one step closer to making my dream a reality.

2. Finding My People

Recently, I’ve been feeling a little low on the drive to keep going. When this happened, I realized that I needed to surround myself with people who also wanted to build their own business and personal brand. I think it’s time to start reaching out and connecting with others. I messaged a friend who’s trying to create a name for himself in the mental health space and seeing his drive motivates me as well!

3. Learning to Let Go

The big picture is pretty daunting, and I’ve realized that some of the features I want incorporated in the app might not be the best thing for it. I’ve done a few surveys and it seems like the features that I thought would be a hit aren’t wanted by my users. That’s okay! I can let go of a few of these visions to make the big one come to life, and that’s enough for me.

Review: “Atomic Habits” Morning Routine Chapter

I recently re-read the morning routine chapter in James Clear’s Atomic Habits, and it helped me get my energy back on track. He emphasizes the importance of starting your day with intention and building systems to help get to your goals, and I’ve created a few recurring timeslots on my calendar to help me do so..

Here’s what stuck with me:

1. Starting with Small Wins

Clear talks about the importance of starting your day with a small win, like the 10-minute session of yoga in the morning or stretches that help me start the day. Doing something productive gets the momentum going for the whole day.
I do find that the short 10-minute yoga session gives me a bit of drive to keep creating content and working on the app as opposed to if I were to start my day with a game of League of Legends. It’s a small act, but it brings me onto the right track and makes a big difference for the entire day.

2. Habit Stacking

One of my favorite tips from the book is habit stacking—pairing a new habit with an existing one. For instance, every single time that I walk into my small office space, I do a few pushups before I enter the door. It gets my blood going and keeps me slightly active before sitting at my computer for a few hours. It’s a small ritual that gets me into the mood to work while maintaining a nice healthy habit. 

3. The Importance of Environment

Last, for now, he emphasizes the role of your environment. 
Previously, I used to have my desk in my bedroom, and it would be really easy for me to just roll out of bed and maintain that same mindset while starting to work. I would be tired, groggy, and not ready for a full day.

Now, I’ve moved my desk over to a separate area in my living room for a dedicated workspace. It’s nothing crazy, but having an area of the house dedicated to just focus work gets me into the mindset of working instead of just playing all day.

I don’t wake up at 5 AM in the morning.

Whenever I watch this productivity YouTube, they always preach the morning hustle. They wake up at dawn before the sun is up, meditate, work out, and eat a good breakfast, and it seems like this is the lifestyle that you have to pursue to become successful.

That’s not really it for me. There’s a level of discipline that I see in that routine but it’s not my reality at all. I’m not even sure if I’ll ever reach that stage, or if I even need to.

My reality is messy. It’s typing with one eye open because I’m still not fully awake yet. It’s skipping breakfast because I’m too lazy to do so and starting the day with some video games. Sure, I could definitely be more disciplined, but I also want to live in the present a little bit. I’m sacrificing some of the time that I could be spending with friends or playing video games but I’m not going completely cold turkey. 

I think that’s okay.

Every morning, I choose to chase my dreams even when it’s hard or when I’m super tired. I still work towards the big goal every day without throwing my life away. It might take me a little longer to reach the promised land, but to me, the promised land is also now. I believe in enjoying the journey that takes me there without losing everyone around me at the moment.

At the end of the day, I’m aiming to build a life that I want. I want to chase my dreams. I want to prove to myself that I can take this risk and do something that’s hard and unconventional. If I’m sacrificing my life now to go full-steam towards building this business, will I regret the memories that I could have made today?

Life is hard. But don’t forget to enjoy it.

Leaving Corporate Behind and Chasing my Dreams

The Day I Quit My Corporate Job

Last Friday, I finally took the leap and did something I’ve been dreaming about: quitting my corporate job.

It was really refreshing. I put in two weeks notice. There wasn’t anything crazy that happened. Just a quiet resignation email, quick coffee chats with everyone who I wanted to keep in touch with, and a countdown.

10 more days. 9 more days. 8 more days. You can imagine the rest.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. But on the final day, the fear of financial instability hit me hard. I was a whirlwind of emotions—relief, excitement, and, if I’m being honest, sheer terror.

Because here’s the thing: I don’t have a safety net. No other job to jump to, just a couple thousand in my HYSA (High Yield Savings Account, if you don’t have one, you should open one!) and no side hustle bringing in steady income. Even worse, tariffs are increasing the price of everything.

The first hour that I walked out of the office, it hit me hard. I don’t have a job anymore. Was this the right choice? Does my mental health and chasing my dreams matter more or having a stable job for the rest of my life? To this day, I still don’t know if it was the right choice to make. I’ve made a million different decision tables trying to weigh the pros versus the cons, and every single time, the pros have always came out on top. However, it still doesn’t sit right with me.

The Fear of Financial Instability

Quitting your job is scary. It’s better when you have another job lined up, but for me, this wasn’t the case.

I’ve spent the past month preparing for this moment—cutting expenses, preparing for what I have to do in the following weeks and mentally preparing myself for the shame that I’m about to receive from my parents.

What if I can’t make enough money to support myself? What if I can’t get a job anymore? Isn’t it easier to get a job when you have a job? What if the market crashes and my business doesn’t work out? What if I’m making the biggest mistake of my life?

There hasn’t been a moment that has gone by without these worries going through my head. In the midst of all this chaos, there’s one constant that remains. Fear is natural. I’m taking a step to chase my dreams. I’ve been reading and preparing for this moment for the past 6 months and it’s time that I finally took a step towards what I truly want to do. It’s a sign that I’m stepping out of my comfort zone.

If I didn’t take this step, I would still be at the same job, working on a salary until I grow old and retire.

The 21-Day Entrepreneur Sprint with Dent Global

Thankfully, I quit my job with a plan in mind. This plan doesn’t help with any of my financial concerns, but it’s been a move that I’ve wanted to do for a while.

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a podcast episode where Ali Abdaal interviewed Daniel Priestley. I’ve been listening to a lot of Ali’s Deep Dive podcast, where he interviews successful entrepreneurs and other people in the space. His interview with Daniel Priesley is one that I’ve gone back to multiple times, on the different steps to take when growing your business from nothing. As I listened to it more and more, I started to wonder what this Daniel guy does.

After a Google search, I found out that he was the co-founder of Dent Global, a company helping entrepreneurs build their platforms. I quickly found something called the 21-Day Entrepreneur Sprint—a program designed to help aspiring entrepreneurs build a business from scratch in just three weeks.

I immediately knew this was my next step (this is not sponsored!). I’ll be starting this tomorrow, and documenting my experience trying this out for the next 21 days! I loved having the idea of a plan, accountability, and the experience of getting the exact lessons that a successful entrepreneur preaches!

Starting this Monday, I’ll be diving headfirst into the sprint. It’s a really scary month, but I believe that with consistency, effort, and my passion to make this world a better place, building a sustainable and successful business is guaranteed.

I won’t lie—I’m nervous and scared out of my mind. But I’m also excited. This feels like the push I’ve been waiting for.

Why I Quit: The Breaking Point

Quitting my job wasn’t a sudden decision. I’ve been planning it for months, but the last few months helped me put some gas on the brakes.

Most of the people are great, but the idea of being in a role where you’re only considered for promotion after 5 years seems insane to me. This doesn’t even guarantee the promotion, but you’re only considered for promotion, amidst the politics throughout a corporate lifestyle. There are long hours, low pay, and meetings to try to get the bare minimum out of others that you work with.

The breaking point came when I realized I was sacrificing my dreams for a paycheck. Ever since graduation, I’ve been coming home exhausted to try to build a side project to help me escape this 9-5. I’ve started a blog, tried print-on-demand without a single item sold, and I’ve read endless books on how to become financially free. The issue is, I’m still way too tired. I put in at least an hour each day to try to build something of my own, but I haven’t seen the fruits of my labor yet.

Maybe I was putting my energy into something that wasn’t working, but I’ve learned so many lessons from each one. I feel like I’ve been half-assing these efforts. I knew this had to change.

So, I started planning. I saved as much as I could, started reading every day, planning out how each month would work, and now, here I am.

My calendar is already blocked out down to the minute, making the most of every single day to build the business that I’ve always wanted to have. I’ve incorporated time for everything that I’ve wanted to get done, including fixing up that blog, starting a YouTube channel, and marketing the app that I’ve been building with a few friends.

No matter what, this is a risk that I’ve committed myself to. There’s no looking back now.

The Reality of Living with Parents

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: I’m living with my parents.

I’m grateful for it.

Living at home means I can focus on building my business without worrying about rent, food, and other utilities. But it’s a really difficult place to be. There’s nagging, judgment, and reminders that the economy is in a horrible place. It wasn’t even until today that I found out that our finances were a lot worse than I had imagined. The nagging voice in my head that says I should have never quit this job, but it’s a little too late now.

Thankfully, writing this post has been helping me process these emotions. This is really my emotional diary where I’m laying it all out for you to see. One small reminder that gives me a bit of ease was actually something I got from talking to Deepseek. “Life isn’t linear, and sometimes, you have to take a step back to move forward.”

The Scary (but Exciting) Road Ahead

As I write this, it’s Sunday night.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll officially start my journey as a full-time entrepreneur.

I’m seriously scared. The fear of failure is heavy now. The weight that was on my shoulders from work disappeared only for a new one to form. The fear of financial instability is the worst of it all. But also, this is my first step to no longer working a dead-end job. I’m taking a leap to do something that I’m passionate about. 

Here’s what I’m focusing on as I take this leap:

1. Embracing the Uncertainty

I don’t have all the answers, and that’s okay. There are things that I simply need to wait to find out, and I’m too young to be close to having all the answers yet. Who says I’ll even know the answers to half my questions a year from now? What I do have is a plan, a support system, and the determination to figure it out as I go.

2. Trusting the Process

The 21-Day Entrepreneur Sprint is designed to help me build a solid foundation for my business. I haven’t started it yet, but it’s a portion of my life now that I look at as an anchor to keep me on the right track. In addition to that, the concept of consistency provides solace. Every content creator preaches the necessity of consistency and it’s always been a weak point of mine. That changes now.

3. Celebrating Small Wins

I’m not expecting to build a six-figure business overnight (I would love to though..). Instead, I’m focusing on small, achievable goals—like landing my first client or launching a website. Every win is a step in the right direction.

A Message to Anyone Feeling Stuck

If you’re reading this and feeling stuck in a job or situation that doesn’t fulfill you, I want you to know this: you’re not alone.

Leaving the security of a corporate job is scary. But so is staying in a place where you’re unhappy.
The decision I made to leave my corporate job was one that I wanted to take, but it might not be the same decision for you. I’m lucky to not have to pay rent and still have somewhere to sleep at night, which made the decision a little easier for me.

As always, you don’t have to have it all figured out. I’m starting to look at life with a different set of eyes, to take it one step at a time.

For me, that step was signing up for the 21-Day Entrepreneur Sprint and committing to building a business that aligns with my values. For you, it might look different.

But whatever it is, don’t let fear hold you back.

Wish us luck.

"The Millionaire Fastlane" - Escaping the Corporate 9 to 5

What is the Millionaire Fastlane? It's definitely not the same 9 to 5, the same struggle of facing a computer screen for 8 hours a day, and the same parade of tired faces making their way to work every morning. Something is haunting about imagining that I'll be living the same life ten years from now. It wasn't until I read MJ DeMarco's "Millionaire Fastlane" that I realized this wasn't just a job – it was a prison sentence.

Part 1: The True Cost of Our Time

Let's do some painful math together. As an architectural designer, my salary might not look so bad on paper when compared to the industry – until you realize what we're really trading for it.

  • Official work hours: 40 hours/week
  • Commute time: 10 hours/week
  • Getting ready in the morning: 5 hours/week
  • Work-related stress recovery: 5 hours/week
  • Total: 60 hours/week

With a salary of about $76,000/year, this isn't $36.50/hour anymore. It's $24.30/hour. That's not counting the emotional toll of missed family dinners, time that could have been spent with friends, overtime (which would put us under the $20/hour mark), and the growing realization that you're not getting anything out of this but a salary.

Part 2: Understanding the Three Lanes

DeMarco's framework hit me hard – instantly exposing the flaws in the way that we've been seeing life. Traditionally, we go to school, get a job, and wait till retirement. Beyond this, he breaks down three financial roadmaps:

Sidewalkers: Living paycheck to paycheck, spending money on luxuries that make them feel rich, only to rack up mountains of credit card debt and financial terror. It's common to live this life. This makes up a large majority of everyone around us. Think about the influencers on social media or even friends that you personally know who don't have much financial responsibility. Behind that image that they project, how many of them are financially unaffected by such lifestyles? It's not sustainable.

Slowlaners: That's where I am now. Good education, decent job, 401(k), and the promise of “freedom” at 65. Save up all that you can now until you have a large enough nest egg to produce passive income. Live on canned beans and toast for 40 years so that you can live like a king when your legs don't work anymore. We trade our now for later. But when we think about it, that freedom isn't even guaranteed. Who's going to give you back your money if the market crashes and you lose it all? Too bad, start building it up again and hope the market doesn't crash again.

Fastlaners: This is the path that he preaches, for those who reject the conventional path. It takes the most effort and it’s the hardest to build up. They understand that wealth isn't just about money – it's about getting your time back. Start a business or way to generate much more cash flow than you could get in a job. You might suffer for a few years from trying to build a business, but aren't you already suffering in the other two lanes when imagining that you would be throwing the golden years of your life away?

Part 3: The 5-to-2 Prison Sentence

Here's what broke me: DeMarco's concept of the 5-to-2 trade. This isn't about the 9 to 5, but something that’s even worse. We sacrifice five precious days for two days of freedom. In architecture, it's often worse – those late nights meeting deadlines or working weekends actually mean it might even be a 6 to 1 trade. In fields like investment banking and the toxic culture that we hear about there, it might even be 7 to 0. You're trapped. When will you have time for yourself?

Think about this: of the 168 hours in a week, we're spending:

  • 60 hours on work-related activities
  • 56 hours sleeping
  • Leaving just 52 hours for everything else

And those 52 hours? One, they're tired hours. They're recovery hours. They're hours after work when you're trying to unwind from the stressful day from just a few hours of Netflix or a night out with your friends. Why do we have to spend the only hours that we have to ourselves recovering from the thing that made us tired in the first place? 

Putting it like that, aren't those 52 hours also hours that we're dedicating towards work?

Part 4: Breaking Free Through Creation

Architecture taught me to create spaces – but what if I could create something else instead? What if I took that knowledge and mindset that was drilled into me to create freedom?

How can I create freedom? In the first step of figuring out this journey, I’m starting with a sense of fulfillment. This might not lead to financial freedom or it actually might, but that would just be a bonus. That's why I'm launching WayFeel.

Wayfeeling is a word describing how one navigates the world with one's emotions. Understanding our own emotional states has always been at the forefront of trying to understand who and what I want to become, and I soon realized that this is a problem that many other people face as well. What if I could create an app that could do this for anyone who uses it?

As I explore the journey of creating an app that might start to crack the surface of this wayfeeling concept, I'll be documenting that journey on this blog as well as a YouTube channel for you all! You'll be seeing the part of my life where I'm trying to take steps towards freedom. The jump from working a corporate 9 to 5 to becoming your own business owner is a scary step to take, but I'm excited to take that step with you all!

The channel will share:

  • Weekly updates on building a business with no business background
  • Real numbers, failures, and victories
  • The emotional journey of breaking free
  • And a human behind it all, instead of a guru preaching for you to buy their course…

Part 5: The Blueprint for Freedom

This isn't just about making more money – it's about reclaiming our time. Time is the one resource that we can never get more of, why spend it on a path that trades almost all of it for a few years of freedom at the end? The lessons from "Millionaire Fastlane" have shown me that:

  1. Time is the only non-renewable resource
  2. Trading hours for dollars is a losing game
  3. True wealth comes from building systems that scale
  4. The best time to start is now

That's why WayFeel isn't just another YouTube channel – it's my public commitment to breaking free from the 5-to-2 prison.

The Foundation Is Set

As I write this from my desk at a random cafe after work, I feel something I haven't felt in years: hope. Not the vague hope of retirement or yearly raises, but the hope of imminent change. 

We don't have to trade our lives for a paycheck. We can build something different. A life that's genuinely our own.

Join me on WayFeel as I document every step of this journey. Because maybe, just maybe, my blueprint to freedom can help you draw yours.

Your time is worth more than they're paying for it. It's time we started acting like it.

Remember: Your life is the ultimate design project. Make it intentional.

From Corporate Chains to Financial Freedom: An Architectural Designer's Raw Journey Into Entrepreneurship

Is this the lifestyle I want?

There's something deeply ironic about studying architecture for five years just to realize that this corporate lifestyle isn't what you want. You spend long hours at work, looking forward to those two or three weeks of PTO. You've gotten the tools to complete the job they want you to do, to become a component in the large machine, but is this the end? You're measured by numbers and metrics to determine your efficiency, going from paycheck to paycheck until the day comes when they decide they don't need you anymore.

Layoffs come around and everyone around you is anxious. Maybe you get laid off or you don't. Either way, your morale drops to an all-time low. You might continue to get paid, but you're just looking forward to those days off again. You might get laid off, and it's not long until you need to look for another job to continue the cycle.

I don’t want to live that sort of lifestyle anymore.

How can I get out of it? Job is a way to make money, but what if you can find a way to make money on your own? If I start a business, doesn't that just mean I'm doing a job for myself? I'll still be slaving away at this endless grind, but there's just no one above me anymore. Nothing's changed.

However, I do think there's one crucial part that changes. I'm working on what I want to.
I've always wanted to build a community that supports each other, especially in times of need. Maybe it's on YouTube, where I'l document this journey as a diary to myself (and possibly shed some light on those who are thinking about doing the same!). 

According to “Kidlin's Law,” if you write down your problems, the issue is already halfway solved.

Today's the last day of 2024. What's in store for 2025? It's time to make a plan and a goal. It's the year to no longer live like a cog in the machine, but to build a life that's authentically mine. Here's to a year of chasing my dreams and documenting it to look back in the future!

The Permission to Begin

Do you need an MBA? No. Do you want an MBA? Maybe.

When I started to explore making my own business venture, I was considering if an MBA was needed. However, as I started to consume more and more content, it became evident that you can get all that same information from free content (The only reason that I might still consider one is to make my mom happy by showing her a master's degree, but we'll see if that happens in the future!)

The fastest way to learn is not to spend the next few years in school theorizing about how you could start a business, but to start right away! You don't need permission from anyone or a degree to start, you just have to get started! You don't even need an LLC or an S-Corp or all of those things that people talk about. Those can come in the future after you've seen your first dollar come in! You don't even need a perfect website or a polished brand.

Just start. There are a million books you can read on the topic, but Noah Kagan's “Million Dollar Weekend” emphasizes the importance of just starting. Don't have an idea? Ask some of the people you respect the most for a business idea that they think you might do well in! Don't have money to start up? A lot of entrepreneurs start with no money, but you can ask your friend for a dollar if they believe in your idea! If they aren't willing to invest a dollar into your idea, maybe you need a better one!

It's easy to get wrapped up in thinking that you have to be perfectly prepared, but you can learn as you go. As a baby, you stumble before you can even walk. Even in your career, you've probably messed up a few times before. Maybe you sent the wrong email to a client once or twice, but you've learned to not do that again (that was me…). Even if you mess up or fail now, you've learned a valuable lesson and there's no financial consequence to it because you haven't invested anything!

Finding Balance in the Chaos

Whenever I mention to people that I'm starting my own business, (whether this ends up with a focus on content creation or a web app focused on mental health) there are usually a few responses I’ve started categorizing them into.

  1. “Wow! Good luck!”
  2. “Yeah, that's not going to work.” 
  3. “You know that you work a lot more running your own business?”

The first two are both encouraging and discouraging, but the one that sticks out to me the most is the third one. Why am I trying to build my own business if that means I'll just be working more than I am right now? 

To me, this was a huge hurdle that I had to overcome. I had two options. 

  1. Stay in my corporate job and earn a consistent income. This would mean that my income would take forever to scale, and I would never get my time back until I retire, but it was a surefire way to maintain income.
  2. Leave my corporate job and build a business of my own.
    I would be working more hours than my corporate job, but frontloading the work so that I could set myself up to detach myself from it. This would mean little to no income for an indefinite amount of time, with the possibility of earning my freedom back along with a higher income in the end.

Did I really want to work more hours? There's a saying that if you're doing what you love to do, it doesn't feel like work. I thought this was the case, but it doesn't encapsulate the full story. Work is still work. The type of work that I'm so afraid of is when it’s unfulfilling and misaligned with the direction that I want to take my life.

After a long few months of contemplation, I realized that there's no outlet in corporate for me to do what I want. If I'm able to do what I want, the difference at the end of the day is that I would feel fulfilled. How can I feel fulfilled from work?

Ali Abdaal's "Feel Good Productivity" has been a cornerstone in maintaining my own sanity through this mindset shift. His approach resonates deeply with my situation – balancing a 9-5 job while building something of my own. Abdaal emphasizes that productivity isn't about grinding harder; it's about finding joy in the process. 

What if I build a community for people who feel the same way as me? I'm obsessed with the idea of productivity and being happy, and a main part of that starts with understanding and tracking your own emotions. Before the mental health app that I want to create takes off, I want to create content about the whole process for people who are in the same boat. Writing this sort of content is a creative outlet that eases my stress, and I hope that people who read this feel the same. With the realization that corporate might not be for us and the 9-5 lifestyle chains us down until retirement, it's a no-brainer to chase a different lifestyle instead of fitting into the picture that society has already drawn for us.

Building in Public

Writing about emotions and documenting the entrepreneurial journey feels natural because, in many ways, they're interconnected. The entrepreneurial journey is a part of life's ups and downs, and documenting it highlights the vulnerability required to share our struggles, the courage needed to step away from the traditional path, and the discipline that's required to stay consistent in an unconventional career path.

To those reading this who might be sitting in their own corporate offices, dreaming of something more, I understand you.

If you've thought about leaving before, so have I. If you've wanted to start your own business before but you're scared of living on no income, so am I. There's nothing wrong with staying in corporate, but it's a different lifestyle that I no longer want to pursue. 

For those who want to start, let's start together! It's okay to not have everything figured out, as who has everything figured out all the time anyway? Reading my content might be your own way of keeping yourself accountable to chasing your dreams, or it might even be a confirmation to yourself that it's not the right path for you (especially if I fail!). 

The Blueprint Forward

My journey is just beginning, and I invite you to join me as I document this transition. Through this blog, I'll share:

  • The raw reality of balancing corporate work with chasing your own passions
  • Practical lessons from both successful and failed experiments
  • Insights from the books and future mentors shaping my path
  • And most importantly, the emotional landscape of choosing an unconventional route

This isn't just about building a business; it's about designing a life that aligns with our deepest values and aspirations. Coming from an architectural background, I understand that the most beautiful structures often emerge from the most challenging constraints. Perhaps the same is true for careers and lives.

I'm not speaking from as a guru who knows everything about business but just some random guy on the internet who wants to share the knowledge that I'm accumulating as I make all of these mistakes to build my dream life. Maybe you'll find this useful or if it's wrong, please reach out and let me know! I'd love to chat and meet people who share this dream of quitting the 9-5 lifestyle to make something fulfilling!

Thank you for being here at the beginning. Let's build something meaningful together.

Handling Midlife Crisis

Midlife crisis is real. You just graduated last year and started working, and now you realize you’re not enjoying your job. How much longer do you think you can last here? Is this even the right field for you?

These are some thoughts that I’ve recently started having and it seems like many people around me share the same thoughts. We’ve just seen a harsh round of layoffs, followed by some of the closest coworkers leaving to go elsewhere. I wonder how many of you out there are going through the same thing. I’ve been doing a bit of research on what this feeling is called. You’ve probably heard of it before, and it’s called the quarter-life crisis. 

The Post-College Midlife Crisis: Did I pick the wrong major?

You know that feeling when you've spent five years studying something, and now that you're doing it, something just feels... off? That's where I am with architecture right now. Don't get me wrong – I love design and it’s helped me craft a design-oriented mindset. But sitting at my desk, staring at Revit/Rhino all day, I can't help but wonder: how long can I last here until I burn out?

In architecture school, you’re playing around with designs without considering how everything’s actually built. Now, we have to figure out every single corner, detail, material, and everything else in the world that you could ever think of. It doesn’t stop there.

The best part is that the fun and glamorous design work is maybe not even 20% of the job. The majority of our day is filled with constant coordination meetings with consultants, revising the same drawing you’ve been looking at for ages, and appeasing all the little nuances in corporate culture. Looking around me, I start to wonder why everyone is here. Why do people work here? Are we all just trapped in this endless rat race? I’m sure that this isn’t just for architecture. How much of our life do we have to throw away at these jobs? When is it time for us to start looking elsewhere?

Starting a Business: The Side Hustle Struggle

    So here I am, building something of my own on the side. It’s this website and community that I want to build for people like us, people who are pent up with frustration and no outlet. It's exciting and terrifying all at once. Every evening after work, while my friends are out having drinks to ease the pain of work, I’m working on this. The drive to get out of this rat race is what keeps me going. From my 5-9 after work to the hours that I spend commuting to and from work, I’m always studying marketing, business plans, and other ways to make money so that I can do something that feels more fulfilling.

    Along with the hope that maybe this will take off one day, there’s always this little voice in my head asking if I'm crazy for trying this. Am I throwing away a stable career? How many months of my savings will I be throwing away if this doesn’t work? If this doesn’t work out, I’ll have to go back to slowly climbing this corporate ladder that I’m trying so hard to get away from. There are so many questions that taking a path like this brings up, not even taking into account the judgment of everyone around me. 

    Finding Free Time: The Mythical Work-Life Balance

      In college, there was nothing I wanted more than to graduate and start working. That was the dream back then. Keeping a consistent 9-5, making money, and having fun on the weekends. These days, my calendar looks like a game of Tetris gone wrong. Between my 9-5 architecture job, building the business, trying to maintain some semblance of social life, and occasionally remembering to exercise, free time is a foreign concept to me.

      I’ve become disconnected from the people who I used to laugh and play games with every night. I've cried more than once over the guilt of going out to hang out when I feel that time could have been used more productively by working towards financial freedom. The guilt of constantly telling friends "I can't make it" weighs heavy. And some nights, when I finally crawl into bed at 1 AM after working on the business, I wonder if I'm missing out on my youth.

      The Breaking Point (And Why It's Okay)

      There’s only so much that we can handle until we realize that we’ve burnt out. We need to quit. But we can’t quit. We need a source of income and for those who are here under work visas, we’ll be forced to leave the country if we’re unemployed after a certain amount of time. We’re all so trapped. What can we even do? Eventually, the feeling will come where you can’t handle it anymore. You feel like punching a wall, crying into your pillow, and screaming at the top of your lungs. 

      That’s okay. And that’s what I did too. 

      It feels good. Not much feels better than a good cry. You sleep better and feel refreshed, and for just a few moments, all those worries are off of your shoulders. It's part of handling a midlife crisis.

      Moving Forward

      I don't have all the answers yet. Some days I still feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark. But I'm starting to realize that maybe that's the point. What I'm learning (and what I want you to know) is that it's okay to feel lost in your mid-twenties. 

      It's okay to question your career choice. It's okay to cry about Excel spreadsheets at midnight. And it's okay to not have it all figured out. To everyone out there feeling lost in your quarter-life crisis: I see you. I feel you. And yes, I'm crying with you. But we're going to figure this out, one day at a time, one breakdown at a time, one small victory at a time.

      We're all just trying our best to navigate this mess together.

      When Situationships Break Your Heart (Again)

      Part 1: The Dating App Dance

      Situationships are real. Last night, Jimmy called me (name changed of course, for privacy). It was the kind of call where I already knew something was up, but he finally mustered the courage to talk to me about it.

      We set up a time to chat about it outside instead of just over a phone call. Within a few hours, we met up at a dessert shop and the look on his face was all that I needed to see. It was a girl problem.

      He recently met this girl off an app, just as everyone does these days. It’s hard to find a genuine connection and when everyone’s so chronically online, it’s hard to resist the urge to give it a shot. They had been talking for two weeks and the descriptions of the date that they went on sounded like a classic case of what human interaction had now turned into. 

      Situationships have taken over the dating scene around my age range. The modern dating scene is a carousel of profile pictures and clever prompts, where their profile is so carefully curated that it’s hard to see their true personality at all. Soon after, the tears and harsh reality that come from dating apps surfaces.

      We swipe, we match, and we feel like we’ve been able to talk to someone who we can really match with. However, people are scared of being alone and people are afraid of giving it their all. How many of these people you match with are genuinely emotionally available to you? How many of them actually care about who you are as a person and ask questions about you? Worst of all, do they genuinely want to talk to you because it’s you or they just want someone that they can treat like an AI chatbot?

      Part 2: The Situationship Spiral

      The thing about situationships is that they're like quicksand – by the time you realize you're in one, you're already sinking. Jimmy and this other girl (let’s call her Tiffany) had met up for two dates. At first, they met up and she got him a drink. I was like wow, that’s really kind of her! Without missing a beat, the rest of the date immediately went south.

      She didn’t ask any questions about him, was shying away from all sort of talk about their past relationship, and all hopes of this turning out to be something that mattered to both of them went out the window. As soon as the date was over, she started bombarding him with random texts about her day again. All of this was just her wanting to talk to someone. She just wanted an AI chatbot who cared about her without any reciprocation.

      In Jimmy’s shoes, he had devoted much of his time and effort to trying to make this work. However, after talking to everyone around him regarding his interactions with this girl, we all knew it wouldn’t work out. You have to cut it off and start talking to someone new.

      And here's where the tears really start flowing – in those late-night moments when you're staring at your phone, analyzing their latest text, wondering if you're crazy for wanting more. These tears are heavy with uncertainty. They fall on your pillow at 2 AM while you scroll through their Instagram, looking for clues about where you stand.

      The hardest part is this. How do you start talking to someone new again and giving it your all if you don’t know it will work out? We start holding back from doing all the kinds of things that we’re capable of doing. Are we now setting ourselves up for failure?

      The worst part? This isn't Sarah's first time here. It's not even her second. Maybe that’s why she’s acting this way. It's becoming a pattern in New York – this dance of almost-intimacy that ends in ghosting or the dreaded "I'm not ready for anything serious" text.

      Part 3: The Healing and (Inevitable) Repeat

      The breakup tears from a situationship hit different. They make you question everything – was it even real enough to cry over? (Yes, it was.) Jimmy's going through the stages now:

      • The immediate breakdown (ugly crying on the bathroom floor)
      • The angry tears (while deleting their texts)
      • The nostalgic tears (passing by that bubble tea shop)
      • The "I'm fine" tears (when friends ask how you're doing)
      • The healing tears (finally accepting it wasn't what you needed)

      But here's the cruel joke of dating in New York – just when those tears dry, just when you think you're done with the apps... someone new comes along. The cycle starts again. Another profile catches your eye. Another person seems different. Another chance to hope.

      And you know what? Maybe that's okay.

      How I see it is this. Dating apps aren’t for everyone. But, there are people that it can work for. You can 100% of your effort into talking to someone even if they walk away. This way, they can walk away but you won’t feel bad for not putting in all your effort if they were truly the one you could imagine dating for a long time. You also don’t have any control over if they walk away or not. That’s their decision to make and for you to accept. On the other hand, you’ll realize your own true value as well. You are capable of loving and being loved.

      A Note of Understanding

      To anyone reading this with fresh tears on their face, I get it. Whether you're:

      Your tears are valid. Every single one.

      Remember, in this city of millions, so many of us are crying these same tears. In high-rise apartments, on subway platforms, in bathroom stalls at work – we're all part of this messy, beautiful, heartbreaking dance.

      Until next time, let those tears fall. They're making space for something real, even if it takes a few more tries to find it.

      P.S. I’m not a therapist! Just someone sharing their thoughts online, in hopes that it’ll reach and help some of you out there. I love getting messages from you all and it genuinely makes my day!

      Crying Together: Your Tears Make Me Cry Too

      Think about the last time that you were crying together with someone. It’s that beautiful moment when you're crying, and your friend starts tearing up too. 

      Something might have happened. Your friend just broke up from a long relationship and you went over to console them. It might even be the other way around. Either way, one of you started telling the story about how everything happened. At one point, you notice that they’re starting to cry and break down from the emotions that start to over take them. “Don’t cry, you’re going to make me cry too.”

      Why is that?

      Sharing Your Tears

      The last time I listened to a close friend talk about their struggles, we both ended up crying. It wasn’t long, but it felt like we both felt better for some reason. A little afterwards, I decided to share a bit of what was on my mind too. Before I knew it, I looked up and saw tears streaming down her face too. There was something so incredibly comforting about not crying alone.

      Here's the beautiful thing – we're literally wired for this connection. Scientists call it "emotional contagion," which in short, is the same as our hearts being tuned to the same frequency. When someone we care about cries, our bodies respond with empathy in the most physical way possible – through our own tears. It’s similar to mirroring but on a more emotional level.

      The Safety of Shared Vulnerability

      You don’t have to cry alone. Once you realize that, your relationships with others seem to get so much closer. It might be because you’re both suffering from the same things, or just the fact that misery loves company. Here are a few of the reasons why I think crying together is great.

      • There's no need to explain yourself.
        • You simply just cry. The other person listening to your story is most likely someone who you already feel comfortable confiding in. They’re not a complete stranger and even better, they probably all the backstory already. They’re familiar with your characteristics and occasionally, you don’t even need to talk to understand each other. When they fill all of these boxes, I can’t imagine anyone better to confide in.
      • No one's trying to fix anything.
        • You’re hearing each other out. You’re not proposing a solution (which I honestly tend to do sometimes, I know, it’s a bad habit) but you’re there to remind them that they’re not alone.
      • The silence is perfectly okay.
        • After you start crying, that’s just in. The silence settles in, but it’s a comfortable silence. You’ve already shared the issues that you’re dealing with and purged your body of the heaviness that was overtaking you. Let time do the rest.
      • Your tears validate each other's feelings.
        • It’s just that simple. Your story has invoked their feelings as well. They’re not screaming at you or blaming you for the situation that happened, but they understand and their body is showing that. Your feelings are valid.

      Creating a Safe Crying Space

      If you're thinking about sharing your tears with a friend, here's what I've learned works best:

      1. Find a cozy, private space.
      2. Turn off your phones.
      3. Maybe bring some tissues (okay, definitely bring tissues!)
      4. Let go of any timeline.
      5. Remember there's no "right way" to do this. 

      Of course, you probably won’t be able to set the scene for it, as if you’re completely prepared to cry. However, it’s good to keep these things in mind

      Beyond the Tears

      Something incredible happens after you cry with someone:

      • Your friendship deepens.
      • Trust grows stronger.
      • You feel lighter together.
      • There's this beautiful unspoken understanding.
      • Future vulnerability becomes easier.

      When we cry together, our bodies release oxytocin – the same hormone that helps mothers bond with their babies. It's like nature's way of saying, "Yes, this is exactly what you're supposed to do!" Our shared tears literally bring us closer together.

      A Few Gentle Reminders

      Dear friend, if you're thinking of sharing your tears with someone:

      • You're not "bringing them down." You’re friends for a reason.
      • You're not "too emotional.” We’re emotional creatures.
      • You're creating space for authentic connection.
      • You're allowing them to be real too.
      • You're strengthening your bond in the most honest way.

      The Aftermath of Shared Tears

      There's this beautiful moment after crying together – you might find yourselves laughing about your mascara-stained cheeks, or sharing that look that says "wow, that was intense." These moments are pure gold. They're the foundation of relationships that last a lifetime.

      Sometimes, the most powerful thing about crying together is that you don't need to say anything at all. Just being there, sharing in each other's emotions, is enough. It's like your tears are having a conversation all their own.

      Next time you feel tears coming on, and you're with someone you trust, try not to hold back. You might just find that your vulnerability creates a space for them to be vulnerable too. And in that shared space of tears and trust, something beautiful happens – you both remember that you're not alone.

      Remember, when someone cries with you, they're giving you one of the most precious gifts possible – their raw, unfiltered humanity. And when you cry with them, you're doing the same.

      P.S. If you're reading this with tears in your eyes, know that somewhere out there, I'm probably tearing up too. That's just how connected we all are.

      Generational Trauma: Our Turn

      Generational trauma is an experience that almost all of us have gone through, in one way or another. I've been sitting here, thinking about how to share this with you. It’s a little different for each of us, but it consistently instills this depression or negative mentality in every single one of us.

      It’s not even like they want to. They often don’t realize the negative aspects of it, raising us the same way that they were raised. For instance, growing up with abusive parents might affect your own personal relationships with people. It makes it harder for us to trust others or even carry on those traits into your own life. It’s a vicious cycle that doesn’t end until we make an active change to.

      After reading "Crying in H Mart" by Michelle Zauner, I've been reflecting deeply on the way trauma flows through our family lines like an invisible river, and how our tears can help us navigate these waters. Reading Zauner's memoir reminded me how our bodies carry not just our own pain, but also the unspoken hurts of those who came before us.

      Echoes from H Mart: Understanding Generational Trauma

      As much as I’d love to pretend like I understand generational trauma, I truly don’t. However, what I can do is highlight the different pain points that we’ve experienced. I truly believe that even if we aren’t able to solve things right away, talking about what we’ve gone through and finding a community that relates is the first step to shifting our perspective in the right direction.

      • The unspoken expectations enforced upon us.

        I’m sure that you’ve heard all of these before, whether it happened to you or just the stereotype. I find that they don’t focus on our strengths because they might think that we think we’ve done enough and might want to give up. What they do focus on is trying to make us strive for more.
        • “Didn’t you study a lot? Why didn’t you do better?”
        • “Look at how good your cousin is.” 
        • And of course, “You should be a doctor or lawyer.”
      • The complex dance of love and duty that often leaves us breathless.

        A lot of the tough love they give us is usually in good faith, to keep us away from the bad paths and difficulties that they went through. For me, neither of my parents went to college. I’m a first-generation college student, as are many of us, and this comes from their experience that many people around them could not make a decent living without a college degree. That high bar runs us dry. The sleepless nights and high levels of stress are something a child should not have to go through at such a young age, even if it comes from good intentions.

      • The way food becomes a language when words fail us.

        I find that many parents are allergic to verbally apologizing. I’m not sure what it is. However, there’s always a few times where they either realize that they were wrong or that they went too far.

        When this happens, it turns into a bowl of fruit. It’s a soft knock on the door, followed by a bowl of peeled oranges on your table. To this day, I still don’t understand it. However, they’re making an effort to mend the situation. Let’s prevent things from ever getting to that point.

      • The silent sacrifices our parents made.

        I recently saw an article in which Jeremy Lin’s parents took money out of their 401k to make ends meet when he was chasing his NBA dream. I was stunned. Take a minute to think about the sacrifices that our parents made for us. Often times, they give up their own hopes and dreams to help us achieve our own. Even to this day, I’m still finding out about the sacrifices that my mom has made for me.

      Your Body Knows the Truth

      As we realize all the different ways that generational trauma has affected us, your heart might be feeling a lot heavier. That tension in your shoulders? Those unexplained anxiety spikes? Your body might be telling a story that started long before you. According to research published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, trauma can actually alter how our genes express themselves, affecting how we respond to stress across generations.

      Why Your Tears Matter More Than You Know

      When you let yourself cry, something remarkable happens:

      1. Your body releases stress hormones through your tears
      2. Your nervous system gets a chance to reset
      3. You're literally releasing genetic trauma responses
      4. You're breaking patterns of emotional suppression

      Studies have shown that emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones than regular tears. It's like your body knows exactly how to cleanse itself of pain - even the kind that's been passed down through generations.

      The Permission to Feel and Heal

      Here's what I want you to know, dear friend: when you cry, you're not just healing yourself. You're doing the work that maybe your parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents couldn't do. You're breaking chains that have been wrapped around your family tree for generations.

      A Gentle Practice for Release

      Find a quiet space where you feel safe. Maybe it's in your car, like me, or maybe it's in your shower where tears mix with water. Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Breathe deeply and say:

      "I honor the pain that flows through my bloodline. I give myself permission to release what isn't mine to carry. With each tear, I heal not just myself, but my past and future."

      Recent studies in epigenetics suggest that when we process trauma through emotional release (like crying), we can actually influence how our genes express themselves. This means your tears aren't just healing you - they're potentially healing your future children too.

      Remember, dearest friend, your tears are acts of revolution against generations of suppressed emotion. They are powerful beyond measure. They are healing beyond time.

      Let them fall. Let them heal. Let them break the chains.

      Note: While emotional release through crying is healing, generational trauma can be complex. If you're struggling, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional who understands cultural and generational trauma. You don't have to walk this path alone.

      Layoffs are scary.

      I haven’t written an article from the heart like this in a while, but I believe that many of you may be experiencing the same thing. My content has been very science-forward to help us understand why we cry, but a break from that is nice from time to time.

      Recently, it’s been the time of the year when layoffs start to happen. I’m a recent graduate and it’s been roughly a year since I’ve been employed full-time. From the time that I’ve been interning until now, I’ve seen two rough layoffs, but nothing as rough as the one that’s currently happening. The first layoff didn’t mentally affect me too much, but this one was far worse. This may be due to the closer relationships that I’ve built with the people around me, but also the reality that this layoff could really affect me as well.

      I always thought layoffs were this thing where you just get fired and that’s it. However, it was a lot more than that. It’s the atmosphere that lingers in the office when you realize that HR is going around, it’s the atmosphere where you have to keep working while knowing that, and the dreadful feeling that this same thing may happen to you.

      Realization

      When we first heard of these layoffs, everyone was scared, but it didn’t hit me yet. It only slapped me in the face when on Friday morning, I saw one of my close coworkers walk out. I didn’t realize what was happening and thought he was just taking a bathroom break until I received a message.

      He had been let go.

      We enjoyed lunch together just yesterday. We were saying that layoffs might be happening, but we never thought that it would hit our team. And just yesterday, we were laughing and joking together.

      He was gone now. Damn.

      None of us saw it coming. All of us started tensing up and worrying that we were next. Will our project be okay? He was great, why did he get laid off? There were so many questions running through my head, and I didn’t have an answer to any of them.

      Everyone stared straight ahead at their screen, afraid to turn their heads as if HR was going around playing duck duck goose. Is this how the corporate life is? You get sent to a room, sign some paperwork, and then you’re out in the harsh job market again, sending out endless emails until one finally replies and it says that another candidate has been selected.

      What if I get laid off?

      It’s a harsh world. Is that what I’m going to have to experience next? Will I be okay? Say that I do get laid off, what are my next steps? Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. I needed some time off from work as I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed with the timeline that was thrown at me. 

      However, most of us just resort to applying for another job immediately because we have no other choice. We have bills to pay. Not before long, the hopeless job search turns into a 9-5 that we have to face week and week again.

      We work from Monday to Friday, often overtime, and get two days off on the weekend. We repeat this cycle until we’re 65 and no one ever questions this.

      We work until we’re 65. That’s insane. We spend all our lives making money with only two weeks off every year to take a vacation, and that’s just 2% of the entire year. We work the other 98% and we accept that, chasing the goal that we can just relax when we finally hit retirement. How come no one has questioned this?

      This isn’t how I want to live my life. Right at that moment of realization, I felt like breaking down. Is this how everyone lives their life? Maybe it was better to just be a student, living under our parent's roof and not worrying about anything but getting a passing grade.

      What if I don’t get laid off?

      Sorry, but there isn’t a happy ending to this story.

      If we narrowly dodge this harsh layoff, we’re just subject to the 9-5 that we’ve been living. We get to skip the part where we look for a job again, but something just as bad hits us. 

      We have to work without the people who we’ve gotten so close to. I’ve built a few close relationships at work, and frighteningly, two of them were hit by these layoffs. We lose the friends that we get lunch with, gossip with, and worse of all, the sense of community that we were going through the same hell hole together. Misery loves company, but our company is now gone.

      Instead of the solace that comes with sharing your pain with someone else, there’s now a dark cloud looming over our heads. Layoffs are real. We now work with this frightening reality that brings the morale of the whole office down. Even walking around, everyone’s scared to check their phone to get a message telling them to pack their bags and leave.

      It gets worse. The workload that seemed impossible has just gotten even more impossible. You now have to do their portion as well. How? Are we going to spend even more time working overtime at the expense of our health so that we can make someone else’s project a reality?

      Acceptance

      As time passed, I realized a few things. 

      My mind was absolutely destroyed at first, but as time passed, I started to be able to look at things again. Even if I get laid off, it’s completely okay! I have savings that I can live off of for the time being, as well as the luck of being able to live under my parent’s roof. I have a passion project that I’ve been working on (this blog!) and it’s been providing me a lot of joy!

      Even if no one reads this, I’m happy to keep track of what I was going through on this day back in October of 2024. Also, there are so many things we live for instead. Work is just a means to help us achieve the things that make us happy when money is involved. 

      Second, that result is not within my control.

      What use is stressing over things that are not within my control? I’ve been working as hard as I could. If that leads to me getting laid off, there’s simply nothing I can do about it. It doesn’t mean that I was a bad employee, but oftentimes, the economy just isn’t great. I’ve seen so many amazing people who are far more skilled than me get laid off from neither performance or nor personality, but purely because we didn’t have a project to put them on. 

      What I can control is my attitude towards the situation at hand. If it happens, it happens. Thankfully, it’s not the end of the world. Things may get tougher for now, and that’s just me getting more life experience.

      Lastly, I’ve gotten closer to the people around me.

      Reaching out and checking in on the people who were affected by these unfortunate circumstances has actually resulted in some of the deepest conversations that I’ve had ever since joining the firm. People check in on you also to make sure that you’re okay, and I’m eternally grateful for the mentors who have reached out to me for that. After a little while, it feels like the people who are left are clinging to each other even closer than before. We survived a disaster together. 

      There are upsides to this unfortunate circumstance!

      Life is Simple.


      There’s a saying that I always repeat to myself when I start to feel overwhelmed.

      “Life is simple. We just need to eat, sleep, and wake up the next morning. Everything else is just a bonus.”

      When I think about this saying, I get to snap myself back to reality. The Protestant work ethic of constantly working for more and more with no end point traps us into this toxic capitalist mindset that truly doesn’t do us any good. Instead, it’s better to realize all the amazing things that we can be grateful for.

      I’ve been getting a lot of back pain recently, and part of it is due to the setup that I have at work. I’ve adapted to a routine of doing yoga every morning and whenever I’m able to wake up and get out of bed without that pain, I’ve become so happy and grateful for being able to start my morning with ease. 

      So if you’ve also been affected by layoffs recently, there’s a nice little exercise that I’d like you to do! It’s a really effective one. Using just your facial muscles, raise your left cheek up to your left eye as close as possible, and then raise your right cheek up to your right eye.

      You’re smiling! Be grateful for the little things in life. I know that sounds cliche, but it really puts things into perspective. Life is simple. Carry on and focus on the things that you can control and make you happy. Don’t let one small incident ruin your day, your week, or even your year.