COVID Killed Our Third Spaces

Ever since Covid, I've been thinking a lot about something, maybe it's been on your mind too. Remember how life used to be before the pandemic hit? We would be at home, at work, and then... we had that other special place. That "third space" where we could just be ourselves, unwind, and connect with others. For all of us, that place was different. It might have been the bar for some and at the pool hall for others. Ray Oldenburg called it the "third place," and wow, you really don’t realize what you had until it’s gone.

Goodbye to your coffee shops

It’s like those cozy coffee shops where you could walk in, smile, and ask for your usual. They would know your order by heart, and that was a nice gesture that always made you a little happier. What about that pub where you would walk in and see everyone waiting for you at the bar? It could have been the gym, the park, or even the library where you like to do your work. We would chat about nothing and everything. These were our third spaces - not home, not work, but somewhere in between where we could just... breathe.

It wasn’t until COVID hit until we realized how much these places meant to us. These spaces vanished from our lives. We were left with just home and work, and now home even became work. It was like someone took a giant eraser and wiped out a huge part of our daily routines.

Life became Two-Dimensional

This sudden shift hit us hard. Life became this monotonous cycle of wake up, work, sleep, repeat. The worst was that all this took place in the same space. I would be at the same table for hours on end, without even a choice to go outside and take a walk because of the fear that was instilled into us. The lines that were defining our personal and professional lives blurred until they were indistinguishable. That third space was now gone, the buffer zone where we would shake off all our stress. 

Without our third spaces, where could we go to vent about a tough day at work without bringing that negativity home? Where could we celebrate small victories with friends who'd cheer us on? Where could we simply exist without the pressures of productivity or domestic responsibilities?

The weight of this loss was insurmountable. Stress levels skyrocketed and many of us felt a deep, unnamed longing. We were missing something vital, something that made life colorful and vibrant. The worst thing was, we had no way to overcome it.

Just like plants, we need water too

Here's the thing. We're social creatures to the core. It's not just a nice-to-have; it's a need-to-have. We're wired for connection. We crave physical touch, the sound of laughter, and the warmth of a smile. 

Even in ancient times, our ancestors survived by banding together and working together as hunter-gatherers. Fast forward to today, and our brains still crave that feeling of being part of a community, rather than spending all of our time alone. Our third spaces gave us exactly that - a sense of community.

Without these spaces, we’re like plants trying to grow without sunlight. We might survive, but we couldn't thrive. Even with watering our plants, we need to water them occasionally! It fits the metaphor even more when you take into account that each plant needs a different amount of water! Some of us can last without that water for a pretty long time and others feel empty without talking to people for even a day.

The isolation took its toll on our mental health, our creativity, our very sense of self. We felt it. It was a void we weren’t familiar with. Even online, the endless scroll of social media was trying to fill a void it never could.

The Desperate Search for Connection

As the pandemic wore on, didn't you feel it? That ache for normal human interaction? We tried to recreate our third spaces virtually - Zoom happy hours, spending all day on discord, people even developed virtual offices where you could walk around as avatars. All these efforts were to try to fill that void. And while these were better than nothing, they couldn't fully replicate the magic of real-life, spontaneous interactions.

This desperation stressed us out in ways that we couldn’t even comprehend. We were stressed at home, stressed at work, and had nowhere to go to release that stress.

A Glimmer of Hope

But here's the beautiful thing, my friend. We’re out of COVID now.

The pandemic has become a shadow behind us. We now have a chance to go back to those third spaces, with this newfound appreciation of how important these times really are. We can comprehend how crucial these spaces are for our mental health. Let’s start going back to them now.

Maybe your third space is that quirky little bookstore that somehow survived the pandemic. You might want to take more walks outside now, perhaps you’ll start to recognize the same few faces that you start to pass by. Or maybe, it could be a new space altogether. Until you find that space and that understanding, feel free to stay here as long as you’d like. 

It’s not physical and it doesn’t have the magic of what chatting at the bar can feel like, but we share that understanding that we need that feeling. It’s a feeling of catharsis, a feeling that sometimes you get when you scream, or cry, or feel satisfied from anything at all.

Whatever form it takes, let's cherish this space. Nurture them, support them, and recognize them for what they are - not just places, but lifelines to our social and emotional selves, our stressed-out selves, our fully human selves.

Let's seek our these third spaces with intention and gratitude. Let's create them where they don't exist. And most importantly, let's never again take for granted the simple joy of being together, in a space that's neither home nor work, but somewhere wonderfully in between.