Tears Are Not a Crisis: Why Crying Is a Natural Part of Healing

Have you ever found yourself fighting back tears, worried that everything might fall apart if you let them run? You're not alone.

Many of us have been conditioned to view crying as a sign of weakness or a precursor to disaster. But here's the truth: crying is not an emergency. It’s normal. Crying is just a healthy and natural part of being human.

We mistake our tears for trouble and correlate it to being a negative thing, but in reality, embracing our emotions and letting ourselves cry is what really promotes profound healing.

The Misunderstood Nature of Tears

From a young age, we're often taught to "be strong" and all we hear is "don't cry."
Every time I’m on the brink of tears and someone’s next to me, the first thing I hear is always “are you okay?” and by “don’t cry.”

But why?

They say it with good intentions because we all believe that tears are a problem to be solved rather than a normal expression of our feelings. We might worry that crying will:

1. Make others uncomfortable
2. Show that we're not in control
3. Indicate that we're weak or incapable
4. Lead to judgment or ridicule

But these fears are based on misconceptions. Crying is a biological process designed to help us process emotions and release tension. It's not a sign of weakness—it's a sign of being human.

Let’s put it this way. Every single one of us, when we were born into the world as babies, we were born crying. It doesn’t get more human than that. 

When Tears Feel Like an Emergency

There are times when crying can feel particularly overwhelming, leading us to believe it's an emergency situation:

1. Out in public: Being seen crying can be perceived as unprofessional and unprofessional for making it something public. We weren’t able to hold it in like we think how everyone else typically does. We think people cry at home, so why is this person crying outside?
2. During conflict: Crying during an argument might make us feel like we've "lost.” We don’t have control over the situation or our emotions, and crying has taken over the best of us.
3. When we're already stressed: If we're dealing with multiple challenges, tears can feel like the "last straw." What else can we do? 
4. After holding emotions in for too long: When we finally let our guard down, the rush of emotions can feel overwhelming. We put up this stone wall to everyone, pretending like we’re okay, but realistically, that can never last forever.

In these moments, remember: your tears are not a problem to be solved. They're a natural part of your emotional process.

The Truth About Crying: It's Okay

Here's what's really happening when you cry:

1. Emotional release: Crying helps you process and release pent-up emotions, leading to a sense of relief.
2. Stress reduction: Tears contain stress hormones, physically removing them from your body.
3. Self-soothing: The act of crying can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you calm down.
4. Communication: Tears can signal to others that you need support, potentially strengthening your relationships.
5. Healing: Crying is often a crucial step in processing difficult experiences and moving forward.

There are so many resources emphasizing why it's good to cry! Check out this article from Harvard Health!

Everything Is Okay

When you feel tears welling up, take a deep breath and remind yourself: everything is okay.

You're not falling apart—you're letting go of what no longer need. You're not weak—you're human. You're not causing a scene—you're honoring your emotions.

Everything is okay.

Embracing Your Tears

Instead of fighting your tears, try this instead:

1. Give yourself permission to cry: Find a safe, comfortable space where you can let your emotions flow freely. (Maybe here, whenever you feel like you need to! It’s the whole reason why I started this blog!)
2. Practice self-compassion: Speak to yourself kindly, as you would to a dear friend who's crying. If your close friend came to you needing help, you would console them! Don’t be harsh on yourself, you can console yourself too!
3. Journal: Write about your feelings before, during, or after crying to gain insight into your emotions. I find that writing out my feelings and thoughts force me to really think through what’s truly making me feel a certain way. When it’s in my head, it’s still a ball of yarn that I haven’t thought through. Things are colliding with each other, tangled, and it all doesn’t make sense, except for that fact that I’m sad. However, writing forces me to truly digest my feelings, cause you’re churning your brain to put it on paper in a way that you can understand when you re-read it.
4. Reach out: Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Remember, vulnerability can strengthen connections. Just like you’ve been there for them, they’ll also be there for you. 
5. Breathe: Focus on slow, deep breaths to help ground yourself as you experience your emotions. Life is simple. We need to breathe, eat, and sleep. We don’t need much else to truly stay alive, at the bare minimum. Take control of what you can right now, and do a few deep breaths.

A New Perspective on Tears

Imagine a world where we viewed crying not as an emergency, but as a natural, healing process. Where tears were met with compassion instead of alarm. Where we allowed ourselves and others the space to feel deeply without judgment.

This world is possible, and it starts with you. The next time you feel tears coming on, remember: this is not an emergency. You are safe. You are healing. You are human.

Crying is a testament to your ability to feel, to care, to connect with your innermost self. It's a sign that you're alive, that you're processing, that you're growing. And that, my dear friend, is beautifully, wonderfully okay.

So let the tears come. Let them wash over you, cleansing your spirit and renewing your strength. Because on the other side of those tears is a calmer, more centered you—ready to face whatever comes next with an open heart and a clear mind.

Remember, in the grand tapestry of life, your tears are not a flaw—they're a golden thread, weaving together your experiences and emotions into the beautiful, complex person you are. And that person deserves all the compassion, understanding, and love in the world—starting with your own.