I haven’t written an article from the heart like this in a while, but I believe that many of you may be experiencing the same thing. My content has been very science-forward to help us understand why we cry, but a break from that is nice from time to time.
Recently, it’s been the time of the year when layoffs start to happen. I’m a recent graduate and it’s been roughly a year since I’ve been employed full-time. From the time that I’ve been interning until now, I’ve seen two rough layoffs, but nothing as rough as the one that’s currently happening. The first layoff didn’t mentally affect me too much, but this one was far worse. This may be due to the closer relationships that I’ve built with the people around me, but also the reality that this layoff could really affect me as well.
I always thought layoffs were this thing where you just get fired and that’s it. However, it was a lot more than that. It’s the atmosphere that lingers in the office when you realize that HR is going around, it’s the atmosphere where you have to keep working while knowing that, and the dreadful feeling that this same thing may happen to you.
Realization
When we first heard of these layoffs, everyone was scared, but it didn’t hit me yet. It only slapped me in the face when on Friday morning, I saw one of my close coworkers walk out. I didn’t realize what was happening and thought he was just taking a bathroom break until I received a message.
He had been let go.
We enjoyed lunch together just yesterday. We were saying that layoffs might be happening, but we never thought that it would hit our team. And just yesterday, we were laughing and joking together.
He was gone now. Damn.
None of us saw it coming. All of us started tensing up and worrying that we were next. Will our project be okay? He was great, why did he get laid off? There were so many questions running through my head, and I didn’t have an answer to any of them.
Everyone stared straight ahead at their screen, afraid to turn their heads as if HR was going around playing duck duck goose. Is this how the corporate life is? You get sent to a room, sign some paperwork, and then you’re out in the harsh job market again, sending out endless emails until one finally replies and it says that another candidate has been selected.
What if I get laid off?
It’s a harsh world. Is that what I’m going to have to experience next? Will I be okay? Say that I do get laid off, what are my next steps? Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. I needed some time off from work as I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed with the timeline that was thrown at me.
However, most of us just resort to applying for another job immediately because we have no other choice. We have bills to pay. Not before long, the hopeless job search turns into a 9-5 that we have to face week and week again.
We work from Monday to Friday, often overtime, and get two days off on the weekend. We repeat this cycle until we’re 65 and no one ever questions this.
We work until we’re 65. That’s insane. We spend all our lives making money with only two weeks off every year to take a vacation, and that’s just 2% of the entire year. We work the other 98% and we accept that, chasing the goal that we can just relax when we finally hit retirement. How come no one has questioned this?
This isn’t how I want to live my life. Right at that moment of realization, I felt like breaking down. Is this how everyone lives their life? Maybe it was better to just be a student, living under our parent's roof and not worrying about anything but getting a passing grade.
What if I don’t get laid off?
Sorry, but there isn’t a happy ending to this story.
If we narrowly dodge this harsh layoff, we’re just subject to the 9-5 that we’ve been living. We get to skip the part where we look for a job again, but something just as bad hits us.
We have to work without the people who we’ve gotten so close to. I’ve built a few close relationships at work, and frighteningly, two of them were hit by these layoffs. We lose the friends that we get lunch with, gossip with, and worse of all, the sense of community that we were going through the same hell hole together. Misery loves company, but our company is now gone.
Instead of the solace that comes with sharing your pain with someone else, there’s now a dark cloud looming over our heads. Layoffs are real. We now work with this frightening reality that brings the morale of the whole office down. Even walking around, everyone’s scared to check their phone to get a message telling them to pack their bags and leave.
It gets worse. The workload that seemed impossible has just gotten even more impossible. You now have to do their portion as well. How? Are we going to spend even more time working overtime at the expense of our health so that we can make someone else’s project a reality?
Acceptance
As time passed, I realized a few things.
My mind was absolutely destroyed at first, but as time passed, I started to be able to look at things again. Even if I get laid off, it’s completely okay! I have savings that I can live off of for the time being, as well as the luck of being able to live under my parent’s roof. I have a passion project that I’ve been working on (this blog!) and it’s been providing me a lot of joy!
Even if no one reads this, I’m happy to keep track of what I was going through on this day back in October of 2024. Also, there are so many things we live for instead. Work is just a means to help us achieve the things that make us happy when money is involved.
Second, that result is not within my control.
What use is stressing over things that are not within my control? I’ve been working as hard as I could. If that leads to me getting laid off, there’s simply nothing I can do about it. It doesn’t mean that I was a bad employee, but oftentimes, the economy just isn’t great. I’ve seen so many amazing people who are far more skilled than me get laid off from neither performance or nor personality, but purely because we didn’t have a project to put them on.
What I can control is my attitude towards the situation at hand. If it happens, it happens. Thankfully, it’s not the end of the world. Things may get tougher for now, and that’s just me getting more life experience.
Lastly, I’ve gotten closer to the people around me.
Reaching out and checking in on the people who were affected by these unfortunate circumstances has actually resulted in some of the deepest conversations that I’ve had ever since joining the firm. People check in on you also to make sure that you’re okay, and I’m eternally grateful for the mentors who have reached out to me for that. After a little while, it feels like the people who are left are clinging to each other even closer than before. We survived a disaster together.
There are upsides to this unfortunate circumstance!
Life is Simple.
There’s a saying that I always repeat to myself when I start to feel overwhelmed.
“Life is simple. We just need to eat, sleep, and wake up the next morning. Everything else is just a bonus.”
When I think about this saying, I get to snap myself back to reality. The Protestant work ethic of constantly working for more and more with no end point traps us into this toxic capitalist mindset that truly doesn’t do us any good. Instead, it’s better to realize all the amazing things that we can be grateful for.
I’ve been getting a lot of back pain recently, and part of it is due to the setup that I have at work. I’ve adapted to a routine of doing yoga every morning and whenever I’m able to wake up and get out of bed without that pain, I’ve become so happy and grateful for being able to start my morning with ease.
So if you’ve also been affected by layoffs recently, there’s a nice little exercise that I’d like you to do! It’s a really effective one. Using just your facial muscles, raise your left cheek up to your left eye as close as possible, and then raise your right cheek up to your right eye.
You’re smiling! Be grateful for the little things in life. I know that sounds cliche, but it really puts things into perspective. Life is simple. Carry on and focus on the things that you can control and make you happy. Don’t let one small incident ruin your day, your week, or even your year.