Crying to Sleep: Release Stress on Tearful Nights

Surely, this is an experience that we’ve all shared.

It’s quite comforting when then the peace settles in after a good cry. The world goes quiet and we’re left alone with nothing but our thoughts. It’s a unique feeling. I grew up in the big city and there’s never a moment where you can hear your own heartbeat like you can now. For many of us, these are the moments when crying hurts the most. We let the tears run, silently behind closed doors, soaking our pillows as we hope for tomorrow to come.

You just spent 10 minutes sobbing your heart out from something we just couldn’t handle anymore. 

Crying ourselves to sleep is a deeply personal experience, one that often feels isolating.
You’re not alone. There’s someone else doing the same as you are at this moment. 

The Science Behind Our Nocturnal Tears

Our bodies have a fascinating way of processing emotions, especially at night.  As the day fades, our minds start to look inward, bringing thoughts that we’ve been suppressing back to the surface. We’re a bit further away from the stresses of work and finally have a few hours to ourselves. 

Scientifically speaking, crying before sleep can actually serve a purpose. Tears release stress hormones and toxins from our bodies. They contain leucine enkephalin, a natural painkiller that can help soothe emotional pain. 

According to Issaquah Eyeworks, psychogenic tears, or tears that are sparked by emotion, contain higher levels of this natural painkiller as well as stress hormones. 

Putting it in different words, tears are nature’s antidepressants. 

It’s helping us fall asleep a little better.

The Sleepy Aftermath

As someone who has spent countless nights with tears streaming down my face, I understand how overwhelming this can feel. It feels hopeless at times, and that moment, there’s no way that we can think clearly and see the end. You’ve muffled the sounds of your pain under the blanket, scared that maybe your family will hear you from outside. At times, these crying sessions get so intense that you start to feel nauseous and overtaken with the feeling of needing to vomit. I’ve been scared to go outside myself, eyes red and to endure the walk of shame to the bathroom with the evidence that you’ve been crying all over your face. 

However, crying has always been comforting at those moments. Have you ever noticed how, after a good cry, it feels like you can sleep a little better? Your eyelids are a little heavier and I often find myself already under the blanket in these situations. You’ve already curled up into the comfort of your bed. 

Your body is exhausted. Naturally, we’ve drained ourselves both emotionally and physically, whether it was by choice or not. This is called the “rest and digest” system. According to PsychologyToday, this blessing was given to us by the parasympathetic nervous system. 

“A 2019 study sums it up: “It seems that crying onset is associated with an increase in sympathetic activity, and the resolution of crying may also be associated with increases in parasympathetic activity,” which possibly suggest a “recovery process”—physiologically and psychologically—associated with the resolution of crying.⁹”

Doesn’t this ensure that crying is normal? Our bodies are already programmed with this natural recovery method from the stress that we have to endure every day. They’ve already prepared for us to feel better after crying and get a restful good night’s sleep! Your mind and body are always working closely together and their current job is to get you through the night. 

Crying is Hope

As you face your tear-filled nights, I want you to know this; everything is okay. This might not make sense right now, but things never make sense when you’re down in the dumps. We associate tears with weakness, but rather, we should start to associate them with a feeling of strength. Tears are a sign that you’re owning up to the pains that the world is throwing at you. You’re acknowledging and processing them at your own pace. It’s a sign that we’re all only human; to love, to hurt, and to heal.

These nights are not defeats, but just part of the process of healing. Maybe we should mark off each day on the calendar that we cry! (Just a joke, but it’s a pretty interesting idea…) We would be noting each day that we became a tiny bit stronger, creating a record of our resilience.

You are not failing. You are processing, healing, growing. Every tear you shed is washing away a little bit of your pain, making room for future joy.

I won't tell you that the sadness will magically disappear overnight. Healing is a process, and it takes time. But I can tell you, from my own experience, that these nights of sorrow do become less frequent. The pain does lessen. And one day, you'll realize that you've slept through the night without tears, and it will feel like a small victory.