Why Things Are Never as Bad as You Think They Are
Remember the last time that you thought that everything was falling apart? Your mind starts racing, your heart starts pounding, and you can't help but feel overwhelmed. You can't think straight and that’s completely normal. It'd be insane if we could think straight and keep a sane mind when we feel like the entire world is against us. Eventually, as time passes, you remember those moments and realize that it wasn't as bad as you made it out to be.
There's a saying that I always remind myself and tell the people around me when I seem stressed out. “Life is actually really simple. You eat, sleep, and carry on with your day. What else do you need to live?”
Most of the stress that we carry comes from expectations or preconceptions that we've built upon ourselves.
“I'm going to study super hard for this test and get 100%.”
“This deadline is coming up, how am I going to make it in time?”
“I've been single for so long, I'll never get a girlfriend…”
Those ideas ingrain themselves within us but realistically, things are almost always not as bad as we think they are. Your brain always magnifies these problems to extreme amounts the more that you think about it. In hindsight, we realize we were probably overreacting over nothing.
The Brain's Filter: A Distorted Reality
Our brains are incredible organs. Think about how many parts make up our brain! Everyone talks about how you might be right brained or left brained, or even the fact that our brain uses the majority of the energy and calories that we consume everyday.
Our brain is what makes us capable of processing vast amounts of information and helping us navigate the complexities of life. However, they are not always the most reliable, especially when we think about those times when we can't think straight. It's just as simple as that.
During those times, why is it that we can't think straight? Something insane probably happened, leaving us mentally stunned and distraught. Doesn't it just make perfect sense that we can't think straight when we’re feeling overwhelmed? In fact, our brains have a tendency to distort reality, often making things appear worse than they actually are.
One reason for this distortion is our brain's natural negativity bias. Evolution has wired our brains to pay more attention to negative experiences and emotions as a survival mechanism. This means that when something bad happens, our brains automatically amplify the negative aspects, making them seem more significant than they actually are.
“I've been single for so long, I'll never get a girlfriend…”
Let's take this one example to think about for a little bit. Genuinely, what is wrong with being single? Is getting a girlfriend going to solve all your problems? What would be the problem that you're even solving from getting a girlfriend?
Maybe you're seeing your friends in happy relationships and you wish that you were dating too. However, there's no guarantee that it'll be a happy relationship. When you think about it like that, are you trying to get a girlfriend just for the sake of not being alone? It's miles better to wait and carry on with your own life while searching for happiness yourself! Eventually, as cliche as it sounds, life always has a plan for you and if it's truly what you desire, it'll come when you're least expecting it. When you're not searching for that certain thing, time starts to run faster as you're not counting down the days in desperation.
When you take a step back and really break down the things that are making you sad or stressing you out, you'll be able to separate the negative biases that your brain has subconsciously attached along to those thoughts. Things aren't as bad as you once thought they were!
Catastrophic Thinking
This twisted reality is also influenced by our brain's propensity for "catastrophic thinking," as psychologists refer to it. Our natural reaction to a problem or challenging circumstance is to imagine the worst-case scenario. We make the issue appear far worse than it is by dwelling on all the worst-case scenarios we can think of.
How frequently does the worst-case scenario really come to pass? Maybe this kind of reasoning is merely the brain's attempt to make the situation less painful. Every negative event looks insignificant when we're used to envisioning the worst-case scenario, wearing us down less than if we were just to wait for the results to come.
It's critical to step back and recognize how emotions affect how we perceive the world when things get too much to handle. Our emotions frequently skew our judgment and impair our ability to perceive things properly.
Though strong, emotions don't always accurately represent the world around us. These are personal experiences that are subject to the effect of many things, such as our ideas, convictions, and prior experiences. When faced with a challenging circumstance, we may become too emotional and fail to see the wider picture.
By recognizing the role of emotions in our perception of reality, we can begin to regain control over our thoughts and actions. It's important to remember that feelings are not facts. Just because we feel overwhelmed or upset, it doesn't mean that the situation is truly as dire as it seems.
Take those examples from earlier.
“I'm going to study super hard for this test and get 100%.”
“This deadline is coming up, how am I going to make it in time?”
Let’s now say that a week has passed. How much do those same thoughts affect you now? It's not so bad right? You either got a great grade or a bad grade on the test but has anything around you visibly changed?
Let’s take time to process things
So how can we train our brains to see things in a more balanced and realistic way? It all starts with not acting on things immediately. Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of a situation, take a step back from the situation and do something else. Do a quick workout. Read a book. When some time has passed (let’s say 30 minutes at least), only then, maybe we can start to think about the situation again. That small period of time might help to shift your focus towards the positive.
Gratitude practice is one effective strategy. Take a moment to list all the things in your life for which you are thankful, especially in the face of difficulty. You may change your viewpoint and be reminded that there is always something to be grateful for by doing this easy exercise.
Rephrasing the scenario is another useful tactic. See the bright side of things rather than the catastrophe. Consider how this event may help you grow personally and what lessons you might take away from it. Reframing the scenario allows you to transform a bad experience into a learning opportunity.
Finally, it's important to remember that you are not alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a trusted confidant for support. Sometimes, simply talking about your problems can help you gain a fresh perspective and find solutions that you may not have considered before.
Remember, it’s just our brains
When your brain starts telling you that things are worse than they actually are, remember that it's just playing tricks on you. Our brains have a way of magnifying our problems and making them seem insurmountable. But by understanding the power of your brain, recognizing the role of emotions, and changing your perspective, you can regain control over your thoughts and find the strength to overcome any challenge. So the next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath, wipe away those tears, and remind yourself that things are never as bad as you think.